Short story – “Thou Shalt Not Hate”

“Thou Shalt Not Hate”

“Welcome back to Wake Up America.  This morning we ask, ‘How big a role should religion play in American society?’ It is a question that has been debated for a long time, and doesn’t look like it will be over any time soon.  With me are two representatives from the forefront of this debate.

“In the studio with me is Reverend Roger Tishler, founder of the Christians United organization.  It’s a pleasure to have you here.”

“It’s a pleasure to be here, Diane.”

“And joining us via satellite from New York is John Benson, author of the controversial new book: Why Fundamentalist Christians Scare the Bejesus out of Me.  It’s a pleasure to have you on our show.”

“Thank you.”

“First let me ask you, Mister Benson, why do Fundamentalist Christians scare you?”

“Simply Diane, what Fundamentalist Christians desire is to create a theocracy in America.  That scares me because in a theocracy people like me, a freethinking nonconformist, are usually put up against a wall.”

“It is not our desire to put anyone up against a wall.  Our desire is to bring the word of God to everyone.”

“Even if you have to cram Him down their throats.”

“Reverend Tishler, do you wish to create a Christian theocracy in this country?”

“Diane, people like Mister Benson throw the term ‘theocracy’ around to scare people.”

“It should scare people.  Can you name a theocracy from any time in history that was decent?  One that allowed dissent of its subjects, or the basic freedoms like speech, press, and religion expressly spelled out in our Constitution.”

“A theocracy is not our goal.  The goal of Christians United is to return America to its Christians roots.  Look at what has happened to this glorious country under the bludgeon of liberal ‘ideals.’ America won’t be great again until we accept our role in God’s plan.”

“America is not all white, or all black, or all Hispanic, or all rich, or all poor, or all middleclass, or all Democrat, or all Republican, or all Libertarian.  Why should we all be one religion?  America is strongest when we accept our diversity.”

“Your diversity means the legalized murder of innocents, the banning of God from the public square, obscenity passing as entertainment, the acceptance of sinful lifestyles …”

“But just because someone is a faithful Christian doesn’t mean that they are a good person, or that they are qualified or capable of running this country.  I don’t think I’ve ever heard of a doctor being killed because they wouldn’t perform an abortion.  Have you?  Yet how many times has a self-describe Christian blown up a clinic?”

“Such instances are regrettable.  One of our goals is the end of legalized murder, but Christians United does not condone violence.  We wish to save lives, not end them.”

“Really?  As far as I can tell groups like Christians United are always blaming people like me for the ills of society and crying ‘We need to stop the secularists before they destroy the county.’ Yet when ‘Christians’ try to rewrite the Bible so it reads, ‘Thou Shalt Not Kill; except abortion doctors,’ you proclaim ‘We don’t condone violence,’ but do nothing to stop these radical elements of your faith.”

“God will judge them, as He will judge all of us.  The Apocalypse is coming.”

“You’ve been saying that for centuries.  I think the only apocalypses we need to worry about are human created ones.”

“Whether you believe it or not, sooner or later, Judgment Day will be upon us, and I pray you see the light before then.”

“I doubt that will happen.  But, so I don’t miss my chance, there is something I want to do.  It’s a little experiment with all of those who – as you would say – have seen the light.  Yesterday, I set up a new email account.  For all of you Fundamentalist Christians out there, my email is thereisnogod@maxmail.com.  I repeat, my email is thereisnogod, all one word, @maxmail.com.  Now, reverend, how much do you want to bet that by the time we wrap this up, and I get to a computer to check my email, I’ll have already started receiving hate mail from your ‘peace-loving’ followers you think are the key to a return to a glorious country?  How many death threats do you think I’ll get before the Second Coming?”

***

I first wrote this story back in 2006 for a friend’s website which is more or less defunct.  And given how all religions live together in harmony now, I thought it would be a good laugh to show how things used to be. 

To be serious, this isn’t just about Christianity (although a few months ago I did see a Facebook post saying “There’s no such hate as Christian love.”) because in every group of people – Christians, Muslims, Atheists, Republicans, Democrats, one-legged guys named Joe – there will be a few nutcases.  The real problem is that many of the group will pull out the “No true Scotsman” defense instead of actually looking to see if there is an issue with their group’s foundation.

As an interesting tidbit, the “America won’t be great again” line is from the original story.  I probably hadn’t read this in over a decade, but when I read through it for this revised posting, that line made me wince.