Short story – “Shower Him With Rage”

“Shower Him With Rage”

President Armijo announced today that they will not partake in the nearly ninety-year-old tradition of Presidents urinating on the grave of Donald Trump.  The tradition began in 2037 when President Hodge performed the act as a “complete and utter refutation of Trump’s policies and ideas.” Despite being elected as President, Trump tried to rule as a dictator.  Since President Hodge, all Presidents within a few days of being inaugurated have urinated on Trump’s grave as a statement that dictators do not belong in the United States.

President Armijo stated that while despising Trump, they worried “focusing on this bogeyman who died when my grandparents were kids, takes time away from defeating the current bogeypeople, some of whom wish to resurrect some of Trump’s failed ideologies.” They added, “Besides, why should the public be reminded of this man every few years when what he truly deserves is to fade into obscurity and be forgotten.”

Short story – “Vote With Your Fists”

“Vote With Your Fists”

After a final pat down, the state trooper pulled back the flap for Charles Roman to enter.  Three men were inside the pole tent.  A Secret Service agent stood at the entrance and gave Charles a quick look over.  Another man in a short-sleeved shirt with a black medical bag sat in a chair near the exit, reading a travel magazine.  The third man sat on a stool in the middle holding an ice pack to his face; blood splattered his white T-shirt.

Charles started towards the figure on the stool, but the Secret Service agent stepped in front of him, holding up a hand.  “Remember, you only get one punch.”

“I know.”

The agent nodded and returned to his place by the flap.

Charles walked up to the man on the stool.  “Senator Hoyer, happy Punch-Your-Politician Day.”

The Senator removed the ice pack.  “Just get this over with.”

“Not so fast.  There are a few things I want to tell you.  First off, you weren’t my first choice.  I had wanted to punch the President, but I couldn’t afford to stand in line all day so I had to settle for you.”

“I’m honored.”

Charles scoffed.  “Secondly, I don’t know why, but I actually voted for you last year.”

“Thank you.”

“Thank you?  I wish that was something I could say to you.  What have you done for me this past year?” Charles closed his eyes and muttered, “Ah … let’s see … um … oh yeah.” He opened his eyes and glared at the Senator.  “Nothing.  During your campaign you made dozens of speeches about job creation and making education more affordable.  But have you done any of that?”

“The measures I support have yet to make their way out of their respective committees.”

“Oh, but the measures to give tax cuts to the rich go through committees, Congress, and on to the President in record time.” Charles clapped his hands, and in a somber voice said, “Hooray for American democracy.”

A little table stood next to the Senator with a glass of water.  The Senator set the ice pack down and picked up the glass and took a sip of water.  “Democracy,” he said, “means if you don’t like what your politician is doing, you vote them out of office.”

“I don’t like what you’ve done, but I have to wait five more years to vote you out?  Doesn’t seem fair.  I mean, if I get a bad hamburger at a drive-thru I can take it right back and get another one.”

The Senator chuckled.  “Would you rather politicians just did what the polls told them to do?”

“If the polls showed that the majority of the people supported a measure it would be nice if you politicians, who supposedly work for ‘the people,’ supported it as well, you know, instead of just listening to those who write you checks.”

Looking Charles in the eye, the Senator asked, “Do you actually know that all politicians are only out for their own good, or is that just what the media has fed you?”

Charles let a breath out through his nose.  “Just about a month before last year’s election, my mother-in-law had a stroke.”

“Is she all right?”

“Why do you care?  She lives in different state.”

“I care because I’m human.”

“You have a funny way of showing it.  Anyway, about three months ago my father had a heart attack.” Charles paused for a second.  “He does live in our state, but he never voted for you.  Anyway, it’s needless to say that our medical bills have been rather painful this past year, and what with our oldest starting her third year at college and our youngest starting to look at colleges, and my wife’s job being outsourced last year, we have no idea how we’re going to pay for it all.  So there you have it.  Two modest, hard working Americans who can’t pay their bills and who have been waiting – for years – for our elected officials to help us.”

The Senator looked at the ground.  “We can’t solve every problem overnight.”

“Have you even tried?” Before the Senator could reply Charles continued, “And don’t just blame the other party for all the ills of the country, because they say the same about you.  Actually, you’re probably both right.  You’re each too busy trying to beat the other guy to a bloody pulp that you don’t have time to do your jobs.”

“I might point out,” the Senator said, “that distractions like this don’t help either.”

“Ah, but if you did your jobs in the first place, this holiday wouldn’t be needed to show you how sick and tired we are of politics as usual.” Charles had more-or-less managed to keep his voice under control to this point, but now he began shouting, “You’re not supposed to just be paying back whoever bought you your election.  You’re supposed to be working for ‘We the People,’ and until you get that through your thick skulls we’ll continue to do this every year.”

Without warning, Charles’ fist slammed into the Senator’s jaw with all the hatred for what American politics had become behind it.  Knocking over the table, the Senator fell to the ground with fresh blood flowing from his mouth.  “Although, we should do this every day.” Charles drew his foot back to kick the Senator in the ribs.

This caused the Senator to curl into a fetal position and the Secret Service agent to grab Charles and push him towards the exit saying, “You got your punch.”

“I know, I know.  I wasn’t going to kick him.  I just needed to make him cringe.”

###

I first wrote this story twenty years ago, back when we expected Bush to be the dumbest President.  I republished it in my collection Political Pies in 2012.  I was reminded of this recently for … reasons, and figured I should post it again.

Let me assure you that I do not advocate violence against our elected officials.  Violence should play no part in a democracy.  Still, I do think the line from V for Vendetta, “People should not be afraid of their governments.  Governments should be afraid of their people,” should be made the national motto.

Now, one little issue that I will point out.  Let me ask, why are we Americans and not British?  Well, one – of several – reasons is that the British politicians didn’t seem to care all that much about what the colonials had to say in regards to taxes.  Interesting bit of history, isn’t it?  And those who think we are taxed too much and those who think the rich aren’t taxed enough can both find meaning in that, which makes it even more interesting.

Short story – “Moon Light”

“Moon Light”

With her four-year-old son Jason half asleep on her shoulder, Lenia Davidson walked out into her backyard.  As with any four-year-old, getting him to go to bed was a challenge, which would only be even more challenging in the days ahead after waking him in the middle of the night.  But he needed to see this.

Between the neighbor’s lights, the glow from Houston, and a nearly half-a-moon, there were only a couple of stars visible.  Although, Lenia thought one of them was supposed to be Jupiter, but she couldn’t remember which one.

#

Commander Sean Davidson quietly counted down, “Three, two, one.” At zero, the only thing that happened was a change on his computer screen.  After glancing over everything for a few seconds, he transmitted, “Houston, everything on our end indicates Moon Light is working and running its first program.”

A few seconds later came the reply, “Copy Armstrong.  We can see that it’s working.”

Sean turned to his crew – in various stages of making dinner – and announced, “It appears Project Moon Light is a success.”

His crew nodded and applauded, then went back to work.

Sean checked the displays again, then looked up and smiled.

#

After a few minutes of trying to keep Jason awake by pointing out the fireflies or the distant hoot of an owl, Lenia finally saw what she was waiting for.  She turned him around so he could see the moon.  Half was lit by the sun, but in the dark half was a point of bright, white light.  “Jason, look.”

Jason yawned and rubbed his eyes.

 “See that point of light on the moon?”

Jason stopped rubbing his eyes, and looked up at the moon.  After a second or two, he nodded.

“That’s where your daddy is.”

Jason turned to her, then back to the moon with his mouth open.

Lenia explained, “They have a really bright flashlight that they can turn on for a minute at a time, so everyone on Earth can see that there are people on the moon.”

Whatever tiredness Jason had was replaced with awe, and he waved at the moon.

By now, the light had turned red and was starting to shift its way through the rainbow.

Lenia kissed Jason on the top of his head, then waved at the moon with him.

Short story – “Still Relevant”

“Still Relevant”

With a sigh, Gary opened the bottom drawer of his dresser and took out a threadbare t-shirt.  Thirtyish years ago, it had been a plain, dark blue shirt his girlfriend at the time had ironed a political message on.  Now it was a faded blue and the message was hard to read since the letters had started peeling. 

His wife Susan watched him for a moment.  “It’s time to throw that away.”

“As I’ve explained before,” Gary stated, “I told my college girlfriend I would wear this shirt until it was no longer needed.  But sadly, we live in a world run by assholes who have no qualms about shedding other people’s blood for their oil.”

Gary pulled the shirt over his head, and looking at Susan gave it a firm tug over the belly that had somehow grown since college.  This unfortunately caused a large rip to open on the left side of the shirt.

Gary took a breath, then took the shirt off.  He folded it up, placed it back, then closed the drawer.  He turned to see Susan watching him with a raised eyebrow.  “Perhaps I should order a new one.”

#

For those who didn’t get the reference, I remember back in 1990 in the lead up to the Gulf War, a lot of people protested the war with the phrase “No blood for oil.” While this was mostly on signs, I’m sure a few people put it on shirts.  I don’t know if anyone still has a shirt from then, but they, sadly, probably need a new one.

Short story – “The Santa Shakes”

“The Santa Shakes”

“Hello.  This is Amy at Doctor Bodden’s office.  How may I help you?”

“Hi.  This is Doug Ryan, and I guess I need to make an appointment.”

“Okay.  What’s seems to be the problem Mister Ryan?”

“I’m not sure what it is, but for the last few days I’ve felt rather … odd.  But not in like a bad way.  I don’t know.  It’s rather hard to describe.”

“Is it like there’s been an uncomfortable weight on you that’s suddenly been removed, but you’ve grown used to the weight so it’s absence is weird?”

“Yes.  Yes.  That’s it exactly.”

“Okay.  Something that’s pretty common around this time of year is Christmas Music Withdrawal.  People hear nothing but Christmas music for two months and they grow accustomed to it, then Christmas happens, and then it’s cold turkey back to normal music.  For most people, this odd feeling goes away after a few days.  What I can do, is I can pencil you in for an appointment for … Wednesday.  If you’re feeling better by then you can cancel, but if you still feel odd, the Doctor can check to make sure it isn’t something else.  How does that sound?”

***

As someone forced to listen to Christmas music against my will, I’ve more or less trained myself to tune it out.  The last day I worked before Christmas, I was thinking about how soon I’d just have to tune out the normal bland music, when I joking thought about people having withdrawal symptoms from quitting Christmas music cold turkey.  The original version had someone call the doctor and the doctor telling them to listen to “Frosty the Snowman” twice and call them in the morning, along the lines of the old joke of “Take two aspirin and call me in the morning.” But how often do you actually talk to the doctor when you call the doctor’s office?  In addition, I wasn’t sure where exactly Christmas music fit in the range of things that you should quit cold turkey and what you should wean yourself off of.  I just wanted to make a silly little joke, but then I had to try to be realistic about it.

Short story – “The Fall”

“The Fall”

When Alan opened the door of his apartment, he saw his partner Sam on the couch petting their dog. “Did you hear the news?  The jury just convicted Mayor Becker of rape.”

“That’s not surprising,” Sam replied.

Taking off his coat, Alan said, “I guess that’s the end of his reelection campaign.”

“Not necessarily,” Sam replied.  “There are a lot of voters who support his economic policies.” After a second, they added, “And those people are assholes.”

Alan wiped imaginary sweat from his brow.  “Glad you finished that.  Otherwise, you and Buster would’ve had to find a new place to live.”

Sam put a protective arm around Buster and kissed him on the head.  They then leaned close and whispered, “You have my permission to bite him.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

***

I wrote this because only a society that’s falling would let a sexual predator retain political power.

Short story – “Bated Breath”

“Bated Breath”

A phone alarm brought Alice to the brink of consciousness.  The alarm was turned off, but before Alice could slip back to sleep, Dana pushed on her shoulder.  “Wakey, wakey.”

“Five more minutes,” Alice mumbled.

Dana leaned over and Alice felt her breath on her ear.  “No.”

Alice began to groan, but it quickly became a shriek as Dana began tickling her.  Jolting up, Alice tried to squirm out the blankets while crying, “I’m up, I’m up.”

Dana stopped her attack, then hugged Alice and gave her a lengthy kiss. 

When it finished, Alice smiled and asked, “Do you really want to wake me up?”

Waving her phone, Dana said, “Let’s see if there’s a reason for us to celebrate first.”

Alice flopped back on the bed and closed her eyes. 

“What’s your prediction?” Dana asked.  When Alice didn’t answer, Dana nudged her with her foot.

“I’m thinking,” Alice replied.

“Do you want to hear mine?”

Alice shrugged.  “Sure.”

“I’ll say that he isn’t dead, but he did have a heart attack or something and he’s in the hospital.”

“Is his outlook not good?”

“We can hope.  So what’s your guess?”

“I’ll say,” Alice paused for a moment before continuing, “he bombed some random place in Mexico to stop one of those non-existent migrate caravans.”

“Ooooh, spicy.”

Checking the news, Dana said, “And the winner is ….”

Save America EBook Sale

I think for the past decade, every Fourth of July I’ve had a sale for some of my ebooks.  Which ones vary over the years, but Political Pies, my collection of forty short stories of a political nature, is always included.  The sale is usually just to mark the Fourth of July, but this year – with an ever-quickening slide into authoritarianism – I’m making it a Save America Sale.

How will my ebooks save America?  Well, I could argue that most of my stories are science fiction and show worlds where very alien aliens have learned to live and work together, thus showing the idiocy of people being upset their neighbor doesn’t have the exact same shade of skin color.  But really, my ebooks don’t contain some magic formula to save America.  It’s just a nice gesture.  If you’re fighting authoritarianism, then it’s likely you read, so here is a collection of free ebooks you can pick up.

In previous years, I’ve had sales at points throughout the year where I asked people to also register to vote or to vote.  But apparently, offering anything to get people to register or to vote is technically illegal.  I doubt they’d go after some unknown author giving away free ebooks, but I’m also not a billionaire who can just bribe his way out of problems.  So for this Save America Sale, I’m not asking anyone to do anything.  If you do decide to register to vote, or run for office, or march in the streets, that is entirely on you.  But if you have some time waiting for the march to get going, some of these ebooks are collections of short stories you can read in a few minutes. 

###

From Tuesday July 1st through Saturday July 5th, the following eight ebooks will be free to download.

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

Rise

“Rise” is a standalone story set in my Human Republic Universe. The story follows the events after the tragic deaths of the colonists on a small colony in a distant star system.

Duty

For reasons of safety and avoiding paradoxes, Time Travel Incorporated assigns a Guardian to all its travelers. So when there is an accident during political historian Roj Hasol’s trip back to 1968, it’s his Guardian Susan who sets out on the arduous task of cleaning up the mess.

The Only Certainty

On The Day, for reasons unknown, people began changing. They went to sleep as their old selves and woke in their beds in different bodies: bodies that had belonged to other people. And each time they fall asleep, they wake in a new body. Set months later, The Only Certainty follows Derrick Gorton on an average day in this new world as he deals with food shortages, the semi-collapse of society, and how to finish his latest novel.

Lonely Phoenix

Partway to a new colony world, board member Geoffrey Ames is woken from hibernation by the caretaking crew of the Lucian. They require him to look into the matter of their fellow crewman Morgan Heller. Morgan’s claims – such as being over 1500 years old – would normally land him in the psychiatric ward, except he can back up some of his other claims.

An Ounce of Prevention

Like most people, Jason Fisher wanted to make the world a better place, but he doubted he would ever have the chance to make much of a mark. Then a “woman” came to him, asking his help to save humanity by threatening it.

The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars

Over the last few years a lot of people have caught Mars fever. It seems a week doesn’t go by without a report of some new group wanting to send people to Mars, or some big name in the industry talking about why we have to go to Mars, or articles talking about the glorious future humanity will have on Mars. All of this worries me. In my opinion, a Mars base is currently not sustainable because there’s no way for it to make money. A few missions may fly doing extraordinary science, but if it’s then cancelled for cost the whole Mars Project may just be seen as an expensive stunt.

Fortunately, there are other places in the solar system besides Mars. While bases on the moon and amongst the asteroids won’t be as inspirational as one on Mars, they will have opportunities for businesses to make goods and services as well as profits, meaning less chance of them being outright cancelled. This will make life better on Earth and secure a firm foothold in space for humanity. The essays in The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars allow me to describe my ideas on what can be accomplished on the moon and with the asteroids, and why Mars isn’t the destiny of humanity its cheerleaders make it out to be.

The Future is Coming

As a science fiction writer, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how technology will change the way we live. I’ve come up with these ten short essays about science fictional elements that will – almost certainly – one day become science fact as a way for people to start coming to terms with them. Because I’ve spent time thinking about clones and AIs, I feel I’ll be okay when they do finally show up whereas most people will probably freak out. I hope these essays will get people to start thinking about the future because, no matter what we do, the future is coming.

Short story – “A Sealed Fate”

 

“A Sealed Fate”

A bored young man wearing only a T-shirt reading “Bank robber” stood in a space just big enough for two people.  The ceiling – while not so low as to make him stoop – was uncomfortably low and the walls were painted in the blandest beige imaginable.  The only other thing currently in the room was a counter high on the wall he faced quickly approaching zero.

When the counter hit 0:00, several things happened at once.  A folded T-shirt appeared in the man’s right hand, a door appeared below the counter, and the counter reset to 5:00 and began counting down.  But the main thing that happened was a bright flash of reddish light deposited a naked, older woman in the space.

In a monotone, the man began, “You died and were-”

The woman screamed and slapped him.  “What have you done to me?  Where am I?” She turned around, and realized she was naked.  She tried to cover herself while screaming and punching the man.

After about a minute of silently taking her punches, he suddenly yelled, “Shut up!”

This stunned the woman and she backed up, as far as she could.

The man then explained, “I did nothing to you.  You died and were sent to Hell.”

The woman started to argue, but stopped herself.  Shaking her head, she said, “No, no.  I don’t belong in Hell.  I should be in Heaven.”

“Sure.  Anyway,” handing her the shirt, the man continued, “everyone gets a shirt that explains why they are here in Hell.  It’s not the main reason, but a big one.  For example, I hated the idea of a 9 to 5, so I decided I’d rob a bank to make easy money.  Only I got shot and ended up here where I’ll spend the next few thousand years welcoming people to Hell and giving them a shirt.  So take your shirt Miss,” here he unfolded her shirt and read “‘Trump supporter, even after he went full fascist,’ and go through that door to your eternal damnation.  And hurry up, because,” here he pointed at the counter reading 3:13, “when that hits zero, another person will be transported in, even if you’re still here.  And that sucks.”

The woman reluctantly took the shirt.  Shaking her head, she said, “No.  It shouldn’t be like this.  These aren’t Pearly Gates, and you’re no Saint Peter.”

The man sighed.  “Having died in 1973, I don’t know who this Trump is, but apparently, he’s a fascist.  And if you supported him, then you are to.  And you wonder why you ended up in Hell?  Why would Saint Peter waste his time on someone who’s fate is already sealed?”

The woman thought for a moment, then said, “No.  I refuse-”

“Just go through the fucking door you bitch,” the man yelled.  “Find out what Hell has in store for a fascist, and give me a minute’s peace.”

Short story – “Someday”

“Someday”

David and Rob sat on their couch, each on their phone.  Occasionally, one would sigh or mutter something under their breath.  Then the doorbell rang.

David looked at Rob.  “Were you expecting something.”

“No.”

David started to get up, but Rob stopped him.  Setting his phone on the arm of the couch, he said, “I need a break from doomscrolling.”

Rob walked from the room, but a few seconds later, David heard a muttered, “Fuck.”

“What is it?”

“It’s John, from across the street.”

David jumped up and started towards the door, but stopped.  He quickly started recording a video, and then held his phone by his side, ready to bring it up if he needed to document the encounter.  At the front door, they nodded to each other and then Rob opened it.

John stood a foot or so back from the door.  He didn’t seem to know what to do with his hands which clasped and unclasped multiple times.  “I’m sorry to disturb you,” he said.  “I just wanted to tell you that I am sorry.  This was never my vision for America.  I was conned.  I-”

John stopped and took a breath.  “I know we’ll never agree on … a lot of things, but I hope you’ll believe me when I say that I no longer support Trump.  He … he needs to be removed from office.  I know that won’t immediately fix all the damage he has done, but it’s a start.”

For a moment, the three men just stood, looking at one another.

John coughed.  “Anyway, I wanted to say I’m sorry I ever supported him, and hopefully someday, years from now I’m sure, we could all just have beers.  As neighbors.

“That’s all I wanted to say.” John gave a brief smile, then turned and walked away.

Voter Registration Drive Book Sale!

The other day I saw something about the deadline to register to vote for some special elections is like, next week.  I don’t live anywhere these special elections are happening, so I haven’t paid much attention to them.  But every election is important, especially now.  If you want to vote, you need to be registered.  And who knows what new hoops will be added to the registration process in the coming years.  So if you are an American citizen over eighteen, now’s the time to register.  The information to do so should be on your state’s website, but you can also check out Vote411.  And if you’re already registered, these sites should also let you check your voter status, because while voter lists need to be updated as people move or die, some go overboard.  Any “mistake” found now can be fixed long before the next election, making the election run smoother.

To draw a bit of attention to this, and to give some slight encouragement to register, I’m running a book sale from Monday February 24th, through Friday February 28th.  For that week, four of my ebooks will be free to download on Kindle.  I think it is against the law for someone to offer you something to register to vote, but it’s not like I’m offering you a million dollars to vote.  And it’s only four ebooks from an unknown author just to register.  If I was rich and famous, I’d be doing other things to pull democracy from the jaws of authoritarianism. 

If you’re not an American, you can still grab my ebooks.  I just ask you to participate in your government however you can.  Since America is no longer the leader of the free world, someone else will need to step up.

***

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

Useless Cogs

Useless Cogs is a collection of forty, of my science fiction stories. They range from only a few dozen words to a few thousand and are filled with time travelers, AIs, clones, aliens, even sexbots, although not often as you would imagine. As example, there’s a time traveler that’s always a step behind, an AI that’s late on rent, and a sexbot with bad software. Some of the stories are humorous, some horrifying, and some … depend on your point of view.

The Only Certainty

On The Day, for reasons unknown, people began changing. They went to sleep as their old selves and woke in their beds in different bodies: bodies that had belonged to other people. And each time they fall asleep, they wake in a new body. Set months later, “The Only Certainty” follows Derrick Gorton on an average day in this new world as he deals with food shortages, the semi-collapse of society, and how to finish his latest novel.

The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars

Over the last few years a lot of people have caught Mars fever. It seems a week doesn’t go by without a report of some new group wanting to send people to Mars, or some big name in the industry talking about why we have to go to Mars, or articles talking about the glorious future humanity will have on Mars. All of this worries me. In my opinion, a Mars base is currently not sustainable because there’s no way for it to make money. A few missions may fly doing extraordinary science, but if it’s then cancelled for cost the whole Mars Project may just be seen as an expensive stunt.

Fortunately, there are other places in the solar system besides Mars. While bases on the moon and amongst the asteroids won’t be as inspirational as one on Mars, they will have opportunities for businesses to make goods and services as well as profits, meaning less chance of them being outright cancelled. This will make life better on Earth and secure a firm foothold in space for humanity. The essays in The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars allow me to describe my ideas on what can be accomplished on the moon and with the asteroids, and why Mars isn’t the destiny of humanity its cheerleaders make it out to be. 

Short story – “The Unerring Word”

“The Unerring Word”

“Ria, how’s eternity treating you?”

“Hey Oaoex.  Same old, same old.  I managed to appear in a vision to a human last week, but then he was put in a mental institution.”

“That sucks.”

“I know.  I mean, what’s the point of being a god if you can’t get people to believe in you.  Anyway, what are you up to?  Appear in any visions?”

“No.  I’m trying a different approach.”

“Really?  What?”

“I started a blog.”

“A what?”

“It’s a way for humans to read my message as I intend, without anyone botching the translation.”

“Hey, what’s done is done.  Let it go.”

“A pox upon middle men.”

***

Image from Pixabay.

Short story – “Not Worth It”

“Not Worth It”

“Next question.”

“Prime Minister, do you have any comment on Elon Musk’s suggestion that the island of Kartil, despite having no history with the US and being over 700 kilometers from any US territory, should be American?”

The Prime Minister frowned ever so slightly.  “When was this?”

“Last night, in a post on X.”

“Ah, that’s why I didn’t see it,” she said.  “I didn’t know anyone still posted on that dead site.”

This was met with a few chuckles.

“Next question.”

“So you have no comment?”

“If I spent time giving well thought out replies to the ravings of every idiot on the internet,” here she smiled, “I wouldn’t have time to give well thought out replies to the ravings of the idiots in Parliament.”

This was met with laughter.

“Next question.”

Short story – “Did You Think Otherwise?”

“Did You Think Otherwise?”

A young boy walked around the corner of the building.  Half of the soldiers pointed their weapons at him, while the other half covered them.  The boy raised his hands and stated, “I mean you no harm.”

Lieutenant Harkin lowered his weapon, but the rest of his platoon didn’t.  “You speak English?” he asked.

The boy nodded.  “I do.  The men you seek are not here.”

“Is that so?  I suppose you expect me to just take your word for it.”

The boy smiled.  “I speak the truth.  You must decide if you believe me.”

“Okay,” Harkin replied, drawing the word out.  “If you don’t mind, I think we’ll still search the village.” He then gave orders and his men spread out to sweep the village.

Once his men were off, Harkin walked up to the boy.  “You said the men we seek aren’t here.  Do you know where they are?”

“In the mountains,” the boy replied, pointing to the north.

Harkin looked where the boy pointed and asked, “Could you be a little more specific.”

“So you could go kill my uncles and cousins?”

Harkin turned to the boy, but almost immediately looked to the ground.  “War is hell,” he muttered.

“Then why do you go to it willingly?”

For several seconds, Harkin debated how to reply to that.  In the end he gave a grim smile and stated, “I wonder that myself every day.”

The boy smiled.

Over the next few minutes, his soldiers reported in that there was no sign of the enemy in the village.  At last, Harkin said, “Okay, let’s move out.  Leave these people in peace.” He looked around to say goodbye to the boy – who, he realized, he had never asked his name – but the boy had disappeared.

Once the soldiers were gone, the boy’s mother found him by the well.  In the local dialect she scolded him, “You need to be more careful with the Americans.”

The boy shrugged.  “Why should I treat them any differently than the Romans?”

***

I first wrote this story back in 2011.  I forget what actually prompted it (possibly some news about US troops in Iraq or Afghanistan) but the thought was how many American evangelical types just assume that Jesus will come back as an American.

Election Day Sale

This election is almost over!  In a matter of days we’ll know if America will remain a land of democracy, or if it wall fall into fascism.  That’s assuming in the months after the election the fascists don’t burn the country down in their attempts to steal the election.  But that’s Big Challenge Number 2.  Big Challenge Number 1 is getting out and voting to show that the majority of Americans don’t want Orange Hitler back in the White House. 

Therefore, as with every election for the last decade plus, I’m having an Election Day Sale on several of my ebooks.  From Friday November 1st, through Election Day Tuesday November 5th, the following five ebooks will be free to download.  All I ask is that you vote.  If you need it, this site will help you find your polling place.  (Also, apparently, it’s technically illegal for me to give you something to get you to vote, but if a free ebook from an unknown author was the deciding factor on whether or not you voted, then the case could be made that anything could have been the deciding factor, like choosing not to vote because you didn’t want to stand in line after stubbing your toe that morning.  And it’s not like I’m dumb enough to just give people a million dollars.  Anyway, there’s no way for me to know if you vote or not, so you can take a book and not vote.  Which is fine, except in the sense that this election will determine the very fate of the United States.)

If you’ve already voted, then reward yourself with some free books.  If you haven’t voted yet, then grab something to read while you wait in line.  And if you’re not an American citizen, grab an ebook anyway and participate in your government however you can, because if nothing else, this election has shown that the forces of authoritarianism are everywhere, and they unfortunately don’t sleep.

***

 

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

 

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet is a collection of forty stories covering various genres and themes ranging from six to over 4,200 words in length. Some of these stories I wrote a decade ago, while others were written especially for this collection. All together, they are a buffet of my writing. As such, I encourage you to read as much as you want. Go back for seconds, thirds, fourths even. I won’t even mind if you skip over the stuff you don’t like, but, to quote your mother, “How do you know you don’t like it? Have you tried it?”

 

Relics

This work contains some profanity and sexual situations. It is intended for mature audiences only.

A plague that kills men has devastated the world’s population. Only a few thousand boys and men were able to be quarantined. But Mike Shay is the only man known to have a natural immunity to the plague. Therefore, he is practically the only man in a world of women. He spends his days reading, playing video games, and making the occasional sperm donation. Then Dr. Veronica Barrett shows up, disrupting what passes for his life. She says she’s there to investigate his “mental wellbeing,” but is there more to her visit?

Instead of the normal, adolescent, heterosexual male fantasy of being the only guy on a planet of women, “Relics” tries to give a more realistic view of Mike’s life.

 

The Future is Coming

As a science fiction writer, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how technology will change the way we live. I’ve come up with these ten short essays about science fictional elements that will – almost certainly – one day become science fact as a way for people to start coming to terms with them. Because I’ve spent time thinking about clones and AIs, I feel I’ll be okay when they do finally show up whereas most people will probably freak out. I hope these essays will get people to start thinking about the future because, no matter what we do, the future is coming.

 

Lonely Phoenix

Partway to a new colony world, board member Geoffrey Ames is woken from hibernation by the caretaking crew of the Lucian. They require him to look into the matter of their fellow crewman Morgan Heller. Morgan’s claims – such as being over 1500 years old – would normally land him in the psychiatric ward, except he can back up some of his other claims.