These are just three, odd little stories from my life.
Serial Killer
Years ago, I showed up to
the apartment of the woman I was dating at the time, and she told me that she
had been watching some daytime talk show and the topic was something like, “Ten
signs your child may grow up to be a serial killer.” She said I had nine of the
signs. I almost asked, “What am I
missing?” but I knew better.
Honestly, this shouldn’t
be taken seriously. First off, I’m a
white male, so that’s probably two signs right there. Not to mention she was the type that once she
thought something, just about no amount of evidence would convince her
otherwise. I’m sure if I had asked her
what signs I had, probably five or six of them wouldn’t be true or would be
taken waaaay out of proportion.
Would you lie to me?
In my senior year of high
school, we got class rings. (I don’t
know if schools still do that or not. At
the time they seemed important, but mine is probably in a box in the attic. If I had to guess, I’d say the last time I
saw it was probably twenty-some years ago when I came across it cleaning.) Anyway, this one friend of mine would take
his ring off in study hall and leave it on his desk. When he wasn’t looking, another friend would
grab it and start passing it around. I
sat at the end of the row, and I usually ended up with it. This happened day, after day, after day. One day, our friend snagged the ring and
started passing it around, but I DID NOT END UP WITH IT. But this guy told the teacher that I had his
ring. So she asked, “Steve, do you have
Guy’s ring?” I honestly replied, “No.” She then asked, “Would you lie to me?” After
a second or so, I honestly answered, “Yeah.” One of our friends – who I think
did have the ring – almost fell on the floor laughing. The teacher wasn’t sure what to say to that.
Killing time
Over twelve years ago, I worked
in a lab for a company that made industrial lubricants. Sometimes, I’d run tests that took twenty or
so minutes to set up, and then they’d run for an hour and there wasn’t anything
I could do while they ran. So I ended up
with a lot of free time. One of the
things I’d do to kill time, was go to the store room to “get supplies.”
In the store room there were a bunch of plastic binding strips that had been used on the packaging just laying around. Out of boredom, I started weaving these into the holes on the metal shelves.
As you can see, I still have pictures of these. I did this over several months, and as far as I know nobody ever mentioned it. I wonder if they’re still there.
