What I hope happens to Musk and Trump

To try to post more blogs, I made a schedule I try to keep to.  Like, on the first Tuesday of the month I try to post a “Whatever I want to talk about” blog.  When I saw that the first Tuesday of April was on the first, I wondered if I should do a themed post.  But our country is currently being destroyed by fools, so I wasn’t in the mood.  But it did lead me to this post.

In the last few months, I’ve written a few stories about Musk and Trump.  (I even made a page that lists all of them.)  A few of them are actually about one or the other being assassinated.  Given how things are going, in a few months they will probably be grounds for me being sent to a gulag.  I was thinking I should do a post about why I don’t want either of those assholes assassinated, just to make my position clear.  And figured this was as good a day as any to post it.

What I hope happens to Musk

I do not want Musk to be assassinated.  Ideally, he should be investigated and if – as is a near certainty – he’s committed any crimes, he should be tried.  And if convicted – as he probably would be in a fair trial – he should rot in prison.  But since that is unlikely, my hope is that whichever of his kids is stuck with him, just puts him in a rundown retirement home.  Hopefully, most of the staff are black, and his neighbor incessantly talks about their favorite granddaughter, who used to be their favorite grandson.

What I hope happens to Trump

Trump belongs in prison.  Period.  The fact that he isn’t, let alone that he is destroying the country from the Oval Office is an utter failure of our justice system.  The only way to repair the system would be to remove him and all his cult assholes from the government, hold the Mar-a-Largo Trials (like the Nuremberg Trials) and throw most of them in prison.  But since that is unlikely ….

Ten years ago, if you had asked me if assassinations should play any part in a functioning democracy, I would have said, “Absolutely not!” But I think it was 2018, or 2019, when I caught myself thinking that, “Assassinations shouldn’t play any part in a functioning democracy, but I’m starting to see the appeal.” Just to be clear, I am not planning the assassination of anyone, let alone Trump.  I also have no knowledge of any assassination plans.  I don’t want to know of any assassination plans.

But the system has failed.  Repeatedly and horribly.  Which raises the question, do we need to go outside the system?  I don’t want Trump assassinated, but I feel that is his likely fate.  If he is assassinated, I’d say there’s a one-third chance it’s by someone on the left for a multitude of reasons.  There’s probably another one-third chance it’s by someone on the right whose kid was needlessly killed in some pointless, bullshit invasion of Panama, or Greenland, or wherever.  And there’s a one-third chance he’s assassinated by the dark powers tired of putting up with his shit.  And then Vance – who they can handle better – can blame transgender, immigrant, Tesla-haters or whoever so they can forge their Crap World Order. 

The only real negative of Trump being assassinated is the damage his cult will do to avenge their Dear Martyred Leader.  Picture sports hooligans when their team loses the big game times a thousand because it would be across the country instead of limited to one city.  It’s possible they might actually do more damage than a living Trump would. 

The fact that his actions have made me more concerned about what his cult would do if he was assassinated than the horror of a politician being assassinated, is one of the reasons I absolutely hate Trump.  When he dies – however – I will not shed a tear.  But I will not cheer, because I fear it will just be the start of a new battle to save America.

I really am a gardener

I grew up on a farm and we’ve always had a garden.  The only time I didn’t have a garden was when I moved away for ten years.  For the first four of those years, I did have some house plants.  For the other six years, my apartment had a little balcony and I – pretty unsuccessfully – grew some plants, like potatoes and zucchini.  But about fifteen years ago I moved back to the farm to help my parents out and to have time to write.  And to have a garden.

Despite all my years gardening, it wasn’t until this week that I truly felt like a gardener.  I was at work thinking about all the things I had to do on my days off, and I realized, that even though it is barely spring and we still freeze a couple nights a week and I think there is snow in the forecast, I already feel like I’m behind in my gardening.  There are these … weed trees I’ve been trying to get rid of for the last few years, there’s some plants I want to move, there’s stuff left in the garden from last year I didn’t get around to cleaning up before the snow fell, I have raised beds I’m trying to fill, I want to move my compost bins, I need to get some seeds started, I want to get some cuttings off some apple trees ….  And it seems like every day I plan to focus on one of these things and be done with it, it rains.  Or I sprain my wrist and don’t feel like making it worse doing a bunch of heavy work.  I just need like two solid weeks of good weather, were I’m not injured, and I don’t have a hundred other things I need to be doing. 

Being a gardener is very tough.  I have no plans on quitting.

Random thought about Tesla

 I live in a pretty rural area.  The kind of place where electric cars would be called Woke, or worse.  I'm sure somebody within a hundred miles of me has an electric car, but I've never noticed one.  And given how poorly cybertrucks are as trucks, that they apparently can't handle a bit of rain let alone the snow and stuff we have here, and that they get recalled every other day, it's unlikely I'll ever see one of those monstrosities.

But I was thinking and wondered what I would do if I came out of a store and saw someone spray-painting a swastika or something on a cybertruck.  I figured I would look around to see if there were any cops or some pissed off dudebro running towards us.  If I saw any, I would announce it, loudly.  If I didn't see any, I'd wait until the person finished and stepped out of frame, then I'd take a picture of it.  And then I'd go about my day.

Random Story – Was that a Christmas tree?

This is just an odd little story from my life.

I have two routes I can take going to work.  Route A – my preferred way – is about two-thirds on back roads and one-third on a main road.  Route B is about one-third backroads and two-thirds main roads.  There are a couple of reasons I prefer Route A.  For one, I don’t have to drive through the town.  Also, the main road for Route B seems to have more trucks as well as people who apparently need to be somewhere.  But the main reason is that I like driving, but not when there are other cars around.  When I’m driving home – I work 2-10 – there’s usually some traffic on the main roads, but once I turn onto the backroads, I only have to watch for deer.  But Route B is important whenever it snows because I’d rather have two-thirds of my drive be on roads that are plowed and salted than on roads that might not be. 

Anyway, one-time last summer, I drove to work on my normal Route A, but a couple hours later a big thunderstorm rolled in.  Our power blinked a few times, but stayed on.  Once the storm passed, we started getting customers saying that the other side of town had lost power.  Apparently, it’s a different grid section, or whatever.  People also came in saying power was out along the Route B main road. 

When it came time to go home, I decided to go Route B because with every storm there are branches knocked down and there’s a heavily wooded area on Route A.  There are wooded areas on Route B, but not as much and those roads are more trafficked.  I didn’t feel like having to stop to clear branches from the road.  I also wanted to see how far out the power was out, and wondered if it would be out at home.

So I started home and got to the blackout area of town, which was a bit weird.  But then going out Route B was even weirder.  It’s not heavily populated, but there’s usually at least one house in view at any one time, and about half have a light of some kind on, but this night it was all darkness. 

And then, about half-a-mile from the turn on to the backroads to get home, there was a house with lights on.  I don’t think we lost power at home, so I think I just crossed into a different grid section. 

This house is situated a bit off the road, but it was the first lights I’d seen in miles, so I looked at it closer than normal.  I’ll admit, there is a part of me that is curious about how other people live.  Like, I’d love to go into my old apartments to see how people furnished them.  Oh, they put the couch there?  Interesting.  I’ll admit to having some curiosity, but I’m not a voyeur who looks through people’s windows.  But for this house, I could see into what I guess would be their living room, and I thought I saw a Christmas tree.  I forget exactly when this was, but it had to have been May or June.  And I only had a split second of looking through a window of a house set back from the road, so it is possible I saw some random shapes that my brain just interpreted as a Christmas tree.  But it left me wondering about it for the rest of the night.

Maybe a week or so later, I was running some errands one afternoon and going home the same way.  So I had to look.  Just to see if it was a Christmas tree or what.  Unfortunately, they had the blinds down and I didn’t see anything. 

There were several nights this winter I took Route B home, but I don’t think I ever looked to see if they had a Christmas tree in that room.  Not because I forgot about it – I still think of it as The Christmas Tree(?) House – but because most of the nights I drove home that way it was snowing, and I had more important things to do than to see where these people I’ve never met put their tree.  Or why they’d keep it up year-round.

New and … worsened

We recently got a new computer system at work.  After a couple of weeks, I’d say there are five or six things the new system does better than the old.  For example, in the old system if a certain situation came up, there was no way to fix it.  You basically had to void everything and start over.  But in the new system, there’s a button that will fix it.  Well, I think it would fix it.  This situation only happens every three or four months, and hasn’t happened yet with the new system.  But one night when I was fixing a related issue, this drop-down menu showed up, and as I read through the options, I realized that the solution they had for the related issue should also fix the problem that comes up every three or four months. 

Other situations are only “technically” better.  Like, this other issue that comes up four or five times a shift, in the old system we basically just had to go back a step and start over.  Easy to understand, but it took maybe an extra fifteen seconds.  In the new system, the problem can be fixed in like five seconds.  But the way to do it is … odd.  Basically, this one problem is a screw, while there is this other, related problem that is a nail.  There is a hammer subroutine that takes care of the nail problem, but instead of making a screwdriver subroutine for the screw problem, they just used the hammer.  Technically it works, but every time it happens, I can’t help but wonder if the system could have been designed better. 

It’s been a couple decades since I’ve done any programming, but I bet if I sat down with someone who knows how to code, we could come up with a very user-friendly system in like a day.  When I say user-friendly, I mean whenever an issue came up, there would be a clear, logical way to solve it.  Like, options would show up on the screen and you could pick which one best suited the situation.  Instead of having to remember that whenever Problem X happens, you follow Steps 9-12 in Appendix Q.  Admittedly, there were issues like that with the old system, but it was probably designed 20+ years ago when computers were far less capable.  You’d think better computers with more memory should make things run smoother.

All this got me wondering, Why do so many businesses find it difficult making good user interfaces?  Like, I remember years ago, there was an email service that made a big deal for their new layout.  And I looked around it, and was like, That’s nice you have a hundred bells and whistles I’ll never use, can I just check my email?  And after I checked my email, I went to sign out, but the Sign Out button was gone.  It used to be right at the top of the screen, but now, there was nothing.  It was almost by accident I discovered that when you clicked on the, I don’t know, Settings button, there was a drop-down menu with Sign Out as one option.  Why did they hide something so important?  I don’t know.  Maybe having this big button right out in the open threw off the aesthetics. 

The real problem, is I’m pretty sure the people who designed this system at work never used it.  Or if they did, it was for five minutes showing off the various capabilities to some corporate schmuck who also never had to use the system for a shift.  They’ve never had to use it in a real setting.  For example, in one of the ways the new system is worse, is selecting an operation.  Basically, about 49% of all interactions in a shift involve Operation A, 49% are Operation B, and the other 2% are for Operations C, D, E, F, etc.  The old system defaulted to A, but you only had to hit one button to get to B, C, D, etc.  In the new system, you have to hit a button for A, and two buttons for B because the first button calls up a drop-down menu that also has Operations C and D.  I know that doesn’t sound like much, but when you do hundreds of operations a shift it adds up.  Especially since for the old system the buttons were on a keyboard that was at a comfortable height and angle, whereas the new system is a higher, vertical touchscreen that has other stuff around it so it can’t be adjusted.  I’m wondering if lifting my arms to hit the screen so much is bothering my shoulders.  (I’ve also been splitting firewood, so it’s hard to say what’s causing issues.)

I know corporations are all about making short term profit, but surely somebody, somewhere up the corporate ladder has to understand that going with the lowest bidder can save you money upfront, but you may end up paying more in the long run.  Of course, such thinking is probably only for the people on the bottom who actually have to work for a living.

Voter Registration Drive Book Sale!

The other day I saw something about the deadline to register to vote for some special elections is like, next week.  I don’t live anywhere these special elections are happening, so I haven’t paid much attention to them.  But every election is important, especially now.  If you want to vote, you need to be registered.  And who knows what new hoops will be added to the registration process in the coming years.  So if you are an American citizen over eighteen, now’s the time to register.  The information to do so should be on your state’s website, but you can also check out Vote411.  And if you’re already registered, these sites should also let you check your voter status, because while voter lists need to be updated as people move or die, some go overboard.  Any “mistake” found now can be fixed long before the next election, making the election run smoother.

To draw a bit of attention to this, and to give some slight encouragement to register, I’m running a book sale from Monday February 24th, through Friday February 28th.  For that week, four of my ebooks will be free to download on Kindle.  I think it is against the law for someone to offer you something to register to vote, but it’s not like I’m offering you a million dollars to vote.  And it’s only four ebooks from an unknown author just to register.  If I was rich and famous, I’d be doing other things to pull democracy from the jaws of authoritarianism. 

If you’re not an American, you can still grab my ebooks.  I just ask you to participate in your government however you can.  Since America is no longer the leader of the free world, someone else will need to step up.

***

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

Useless Cogs

Useless Cogs is a collection of forty, of my science fiction stories. They range from only a few dozen words to a few thousand and are filled with time travelers, AIs, clones, aliens, even sexbots, although not often as you would imagine. As example, there’s a time traveler that’s always a step behind, an AI that’s late on rent, and a sexbot with bad software. Some of the stories are humorous, some horrifying, and some … depend on your point of view.

The Only Certainty

On The Day, for reasons unknown, people began changing. They went to sleep as their old selves and woke in their beds in different bodies: bodies that had belonged to other people. And each time they fall asleep, they wake in a new body. Set months later, “The Only Certainty” follows Derrick Gorton on an average day in this new world as he deals with food shortages, the semi-collapse of society, and how to finish his latest novel.

The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars

Over the last few years a lot of people have caught Mars fever. It seems a week doesn’t go by without a report of some new group wanting to send people to Mars, or some big name in the industry talking about why we have to go to Mars, or articles talking about the glorious future humanity will have on Mars. All of this worries me. In my opinion, a Mars base is currently not sustainable because there’s no way for it to make money. A few missions may fly doing extraordinary science, but if it’s then cancelled for cost the whole Mars Project may just be seen as an expensive stunt.

Fortunately, there are other places in the solar system besides Mars. While bases on the moon and amongst the asteroids won’t be as inspirational as one on Mars, they will have opportunities for businesses to make goods and services as well as profits, meaning less chance of them being outright cancelled. This will make life better on Earth and secure a firm foothold in space for humanity. The essays in The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars allow me to describe my ideas on what can be accomplished on the moon and with the asteroids, and why Mars isn’t the destiny of humanity its cheerleaders make it out to be. 

Short story – “The Unerring Word”

“The Unerring Word”

“Ria, how’s eternity treating you?”

“Hey Oaoex.  Same old, same old.  I managed to appear in a vision to a human last week, but then he was put in a mental institution.”

“That sucks.”

“I know.  I mean, what’s the point of being a god if you can’t get people to believe in you.  Anyway, what are you up to?  Appear in any visions?”

“No.  I’m trying a different approach.”

“Really?  What?”

“I started a blog.”

“A what?”

“It’s a way for humans to read my message as I intend, without anyone botching the translation.”

“Hey, what’s done is done.  Let it go.”

“A pox upon middle men.”

***

Image from Pixabay.

Random Story – We no longer know each other

This is just an odd little story from my life.

When I was in college back in the mid to late 90’s, I had a summer job for a natural gas company.  There were six or so of us college kids who mowed yards, painted water tanks, and did other odds and ends.  One of these fellow Summerhelp was this woman who did not get along with me.  Mainly because I was always picking on her, because it was fun. 

Looking back older, wiser, and less of an asshole, I would say that my picking on her wasn’t bullying.  It was more along the lines of an older brother being annoying.  As an example, one of the few things I remember is at one point she needed some minor surgery and one of the things she was worried about was paying for it.  So I, standing six or so feet from her, took out my pocket knife and – not using it in a threatening manner – said I would do it much cheaper.  I don’t remember her exact response, but it was probably something akin to rolling her eyes.

Anyway, this Summerhelp program was only open to kids in college, and I think we were both graduating so it was our final summer there.  And her last day was a week or so before my last day.  For some time I wondered what I should do as a “going away” present, and I finally decided to go up to her just before she left and say, “In ten years, we’ll be glad we no longer know each other.” I thought I was pretty smart for thinking up such a perfect way to sum our relationship up.

For a week or so, I patiently bided my time.  And then her last day came.  And I waited, and I think I went to do something and figured to tell her when I came back, but when I came back I learned that she left an hour early. 

Over the twenty-plus years since, I’ll randomly remember this and feel slightly disappointed I didn’t get to say my brilliant line.  But I also wonder, if I had gotten to say it, would I eventually forget about it?  After ten years or so, would I have forgotten all about her and do I still remember her just because she, accidentally, out tricked me? 

I know people who know people who could look her up.  But what would be the point?  It’s almost certainly a safe bet that she doesn’t remember me.  Twenty some years later, I still have the occasional regret about her, and she’s oblivious to ever knowing me.

An Emergency Time Travel Kit

 

Whenever I read a book or watch a movie or show set in some historical period – the US Civil War, the Crusades, Ancient Rome, whatever – I often wonder how I would react if a time portal opened up before me and I ended up in that time. (Hey, I’m sure your random thoughts make sense.) As I think through options on ways to keep from being killed when stumbling into, say, a Viking village, I figure it would be good to have a kit with a few modern items to help me survive. So here’s a few ideas for anyone who wants to put together an emergency time travel kit. A downside would be having to carry this kit with you all the time since you never know when a random time portal will open up.

1. A first aid kit. Just in general having aspirin and anti-diarrhea medicine would make spending time in the past more livable. Included in this would naturally be any medicine you’re taking, as well as other odd items like toilet paper and condoms.

2. A pistol. If the time portal drops you off in a time before gun powder, being able to make a loud noise – not to mention kill people at a distance – will probably get you labeled as a wizard. While it may not be ethical to allow this deception to continue, it may keep you alive. Of course, if movies have taught us anything, there will probably be a bad guy who will try to take your “power” so that they can rule. A way around that would be to have a smart gun. These are guns that can only be fired by a person who wears a special watch, has a chip implanted in their hand, or who has the right fingerprints. Such guns are not common, or are still being developed, but would be perfect for the accidental time traveler.

3. Some gifts and other trinkets. Depending on how far back you go, the people you run into – if you run into people – will probably be led by some form of chief. It may be useful to have some trinkets to show your good will. For example, a folding knife with a six-inch blade or longer. The folding ability may intrigue them, and the quality of the blade will probably be better than anything they have. Something else that may interest them is a bottle of vodka. If nothing else, it can be a disinfectant part of your first aid kit. Other simple trinkets that may amaze the people of the time could be things like a mirror, or a slinky.

4. A phone or tablet. Most things today have a built-in camera, which would be amazing even up to a few decades ago. There could be other useful features, but one issue is that there would be no access to the internet. So everything would have to be stored on the device itself. Maybe some music videos (Van Halen, perhaps?) to further amaze the people. One thing to keep in mind as you select your music are the lyrics. A large chunk of today’s music would probably be considered scandalous a century ago. Not to mention what phrases you might introduce into the language if you went back to when your language was first evolving. 

5. A recharger. Your electronic gadget – and possibly your smart gun – is good only as long as it has power. So having a way to recharge it with solar cells or a hand crank – preferably both – would be necessary.

So there are a few ideas for your emergency time travel kit. One note on this, I am a male, so in general I’m probably “safe” traveling through time. Women, I’m sure, would have a much harder time of it, but I think in general such a kit would still work for them. Maybe. If not, let me know what items would improve it.

***

Image from Pixabay.

Short story – “Not Worth It”

“Not Worth It”

“Next question.”

“Prime Minister, do you have any comment on Elon Musk’s suggestion that the island of Kartil, despite having no history with the US and being over 700 kilometers from any US territory, should be American?”

The Prime Minister frowned ever so slightly.  “When was this?”

“Last night, in a post on X.”

“Ah, that’s why I didn’t see it,” she said.  “I didn’t know anyone still posted on that dead site.”

This was met with a few chuckles.

“Next question.”

“So you have no comment?”

“If I spent time giving well thought out replies to the ravings of every idiot on the internet,” here she smiled, “I wouldn’t have time to give well thought out replies to the ravings of the idiots in Parliament.”

This was met with laughter.

“Next question.”

Short story – “A Line in the Sand”

“A Line in the Sand”

The video began with a woman of uncertain ancestry in her forties standing on a beach in the shade of some palm trees.  The rustling of the fronds drowned out whatever sound came from the gentle waves.  The woman smiled and began in clear English, but with a bit of a French accent, “My name is Neti Bolak, and I am the President of Tuz.  We are a small nation consisting of a dozen atolls about halfway between Hawaii and The Philippines.  Our economy runs on tourists visiting for our wonderful beaches,” here she indicated the beach behind her, “as well as our clear waters with several sites for snorkeling and scuba diving.  The other main contributor to our economy is the small United States Naval Base located on our northern most atoll.  Many in America have probably never heard of our country until last week when President Trump in an, arguably, rambling post, stated that America should ‘take over’ my nation. 

“Since then, we have used all of our diplomatic means to discover why he would say such a thing and to ask for an apology.  The most common answer we received was that it was just a joke.” President Bolak paused for a moment.  “Threatening to invade my nation when you had promised to protect us and possibly killing scores or hundreds of my civilians.  I’m sorry, what is the joke? 

“The other reason given for his statement was that it was just ‘a negotiating tactic.’ This is where you make an unreasonable demand, knowing that after several rounds of compromise, you’ll end up with what you really wanted, without having to give up anything.  But negotiations over what?  Yes, there were some difficulties between our citizens and the American military in the past, but things have been mutually beneficial between us for the last couple of decades.  So why threated to invade our nation as a negotiation tactic when, as far as I knew, we had no issues being negotiated?”

Standing taller, President Bolak stated, “Our country has been threatened, and our reasonable demands for an apology have been ignored.  That is why I am now giving President Trump an ultimatum.  You have twenty-four hours from the posting of this video to make a video apology to my nation.  If you do not do that, then we will demand the United States military to leave our territory.”

Shrugging, President Bolak continued, “We are not asking for much.  And I want the peoples of America and the world to know that Tuz has no quarrel with any of them.  All that is necessary to end this minor diplomatic fracas, is for one man to set his ego aside and admit he was wrong.  That is all we are asking for.

“Now some will point out that I said the United States military was a major contributor to our economy, so why would I risk damaging my country’s economy?  Well, if we are forced to kick out the Americans, maybe the Chinese could use a naval base.  And perhaps be better guests.”

With a bitter smile, President Bolak finished, “For those saying I’m being overly dramatic, don’t worry, it’s just a negotiating tactic.”

Random Story – Taking a nice walk at work

This is just an odd little story from my life.

Years ago, I worked at a lab for a company that makes metal working fluids.  Yes, it was as exciting as it sounds.  Over my years there, I worked in a couple different labs.  In one lab my boss would tell me to run such and such tests on some samples, and then he’d do his own work.  And a lot of the tests I ran for him required twenty minutes or so to get everything set up, and then it would run for half and hour and then I’d repeat everything for the next sample.  And while the test ran, there really was nothing for me to do. 

Instead of just sitting in the lab twiddling my thumbs, I would find things to do.  Like I’d check our supply of soap and paper towels and then go to the other end of the building to the supply room.  And then I’d check on our supply of various chemicals, and then I’d go back to the supply room to see if we had any. 

The way the building was laid out, there was sort of a main hallway that went from the offices, past a bunch of labs, to the supply room.  But there was also a back hallway that went by fewer labs and saw less traffic.  So sometimes on my trips to or from the supply room, I’d go back and forth in the hallway where nobody could see me.  Sometimes I could go back and forth five or six times before someone else would wander down that hallway and I’d be forced to continue on in whatever direction as if that was where I was going.

Anyway, at some point I noticed that the floor tiles were one foot square.  I counted how many tiles there were in that back hallway, and worked out how many times I’d need to go back and forth to walk a mile.  And there were days where I did walk over a mile, just going back and forth in an empty hallway.  There were parts of that job I didn’t care for, but I guess there were perks.

When they went …

 Inspired by “First they came …”

When they went …

When they went after the foreigners, I joined them, because I hate foreigners.

When they went after the gays, I joined them because the gays were destroying America … somehow.

When they went after trans people, I didn’t really know what they were, but my people hated them, so I hated them too.

And when they went after what I am, I was surprised to see how quickly my people started hating me.

***

I don’t remember what depressing news story inspired this.  I liked it, but felt it needed more, so it got lost in my computer for a year or two.  About a week after the election, I was trying to think what I could do and I remembered this.  So I dug it out, and while I still think it’s a bit clunky, it still works.  Unfortunately, this is more relevant now than two years ago.

And just to be clear, this isn’t personal.  It was to be from the POV of someone who had bought into all the hate, only to learn it would eventually – some would say deservingly – bite them in the ass. 

Thoughts on Starship

Of the three big American rockets – SLS, Starship, and New Glenn – New Glenn is probably my favorite.  Yes, it’s behind schedule and probably over budget, but that can be said about all of them.  But that’s about the end of the bad stuff about New Glenn.  I’m sure if we knew all the details about it, there would be other bad stuff, but so far so good.  As to the SLS, I do want humans to return to the moon, but I want to do it sustainably.  A multi-billion dollar rocket that launches every two years (maybe) isn’t how you do that.

And then there’s Starship.  The basic idea of Starship – big rocket, go space – isn’t that bad.  But there’s so much bad or weird stuff around it.  Like, all the talk of using Starship to transport people or goods to any point on the globe in under an hour.  Which is stupid for a multitude of reasons.  For example, you’re going to take off from some place in the middle of nowhere an hour from some big city, fly for an hour, then land in the middle of nowhere an hour from some other big city on the other side of the planet.  Okay, but people wouldn’t just fly into a spaceport and walk onto a rocket.  There would need to be technicians loading and securing all the baggage, as well as a flight crew securing all the passengers.  (You don’t just have a seat belt on a rocket.)  And then all the extra personnel have to get clear of the rocket, and assuming there’s no delay in fueling, or weather, or an aircraft/boat in the launch/landing area, this “anywhere in an hour” is more like five or six.  Which would be cool, but is the demand for that enough to warrant a massive rocket? 

Anyway, what about the Starship taking stuff to orbit.  How do I feel about that?  It seems with each launch I’m becoming more … dubious?  Like, I’m starting to wonder how many more test flights will be needed for Starship to do what it is supposed to do.  Five?  Ten?  Fifty?  So in this post I’m going to give my concerns for the Booster, and the Starship, as well as a section on what I would have done if I had been in charge of Starship development.

Booster concerns.

The Booster I’m mostly fine with.  It goes up, then comes back down, like the first stage of Falcon 9.  Great.  My issue is the landing, or lack thereof.  I understand the idea of catching a rocket means you save mass on landing equipment, so you can have more fuel to get more into space.  I understand that.  But a rocket landing on a concrete pad with landing legs is far simpler than what they’re doing.  Being simpler, it’s probably also a lot safer.  First off, I heard the reason they didn’t catch the Booster on Flight 6, is because there was a communication error with the tower.  So basically, any software glitch at the tower turns this reusable rocket booster into an expendable rocket booster.  There’s no other chance of recovery.  Well, that’s why they want to build a second tower.  Okay.  But if there’s an accident on a concrete pad, it can probably be cleaned up and repaired pretty quickly so you can get back to landing rockets.  But an accident at a tower could mean months of disassembly and rebuilding before you get back to landing rockets, not to mention launching them.  If they can make the catch work, great, but it almost feels like they’re skipping some intermediate versions where they would have learned how to precisely land this huge rocket on legs before moving over to catching it.

Starship concerns.

Was it Flight 4 that had the one flap nearly burn off?  While all the Musk-Bros were cheering about how tough Starship was, I was wondering how do you make this a quickly reusable craft if you have to do major repairs after every mission?  And while there has been less damage with each test flight, there’s still been damage.  This next flight is with an updated Starship, and if there is obvious damage to it during reentry, then I will officially become concerned that this Starship – as pitched – doesn’t work.  The whole point of Starship was that it could launch, land, and then be reloaded and launched again very quickly.  But if it needs to be refurbished after every flight, then you can’t do that.  I’m not saying that Starship should then be scrapped, but if it can’t be quickly reuseable, then all of its supporters need to adjust how they present it and how it is to be used.

And then there’s the … not landing.  Again, I understand that without the weight of landing legs/gear you can get more stuff into space.  But for any eventual cargo that complains, you better enjoy roller coasters for that last second pitch up for the landing.  That’s why any cargo – living and non-living – would need to be very secure in any passenger version.

If I were designing this

If I were designing the booster, it would have landing legs.  At first that’s how we’d land it.  But once we were sure we could hit a target precise enough to try catching it, there’d still be landing legs.  These could be less massive emergency ones that could only survive one use.  The point would be if there was a last-minute issue with the tower, we could divert to a landing pad and save the booster instead of just ditching it in the ocean.  Then maybe once we have a 95% success rate in catching, we can scrap the legs altogether.

The first big change for the Starship, is I’d start with an expendable second stage.  This way you could start carrying space stations or other big satellites to orbit while still working out the whole reentry thing.  Once the satellites were deployed, these second stages could then basically do the reentry tests that have been done, just without the flip at the end.

As to the flip to land vertically, I understand that that will be needed for a Starship to land on Mars.  But to land back on Earth, we have countless runways already built.  Why not land on one of them?  But the weight of landing gear would mean less stuff to put into orbit.  Maybe.  But if Starship only needed rocket engines in space, then you’d only need the vacuum engines.  If you followed the Space Shuttle route and made it an unpowered glider, you also wouldn’t need any extra fuel.  But it’s likely you want to save some fuel and have a small engine to have some landing range.

But the whole point of Starship is to land on Mars, and there aren’t runways there.  Yeah, but they’re not going to build a Starship, then flip a coin to see if it will land on the moon, or go to Mars, or stay here on Earth.  Each version of Starship will be different, so why not build the Earth version to take advantage of all the runways we already have built?  The whole flip and catch for the Starship seems needlessly complicated.  But the point of catching it is so it can just be stacked on top of another booster and launched quickly.  Assuming there isn’t massive damage to the heat tiles during reentry.  If – as seems increasingly likely unless they’ve somehow managed to fix all the problems – a Starship needs to be refurbished before it can be launched again, then what difference does it make to how quickly it can be turned around if it lands on a runway or is caught?   

The Starship program is a bold new approach to rockets that faces numerous challenges.  My concern is that while I feel it is likely these challenges can be overcome, they can’t be overcome as quickly or easily as is being hyped.  Basically, we were promised a wunderrocket today that I don’t think we’ll see for a couple of years.  I know it is rocket science and it’s not like a new phone that comes out every year, but this rocket is supposed to be part of our return to the moon.  And I’m starting to be concerned that even with all the delays and issues with the SLS and Orion, Artemis III will be delayed – or even cancelled – because Starship won’t be able to deliver.  So maybe, they should have tried a less bold approach like what I outlined to get a Starship delivering stuff to orbit and then worked out how to make the bolder step instead of trying to do it all at once.