Random Story – Where’s the fire?

This is just an odd little story from my life.

I work until 10 at night, so I drive home in the dark.  And I go on windy back roads that go through a bunch of woods.  And I rarely see other cars, but I usually see a few deer.

A couple years ago, I was going home when I saw something through the trees.  It was this triangular, reddish shape that seemed to waver.  I only saw it for a second or two before it was obscured by trees, but my brain figured it must be a house on fire up ahead and I was seeing the flames reflecting off the smoke.  This concerned me for several reasons.  First off, I didn’t want anyone to lose their house.  Also, a few miles ahead was this small village I went through where a couple of my uncles live.  So I hoped it wasn’t one of their houses.  But I also worried that the road might be blocked by firetrucks, and depending on where they were, I might have to backtrack several miles to find a way around them. 

All these thoughts hit me in that first second or two, and in the next few minutes – as I caught further quick glimpses of this thing – I grew even more concerned.  Because I hadn’t come to a massive house fire yet, meaning for me to see it from so far away it must be multiple houses on fire, but then why hadn’t any firetrucks come up behind me?  For such a huge fire, they would have called out several companies, and I’m pretty sure the way I was going was the fastest way for some of them to get there.

And then, I couldn’t see it any more.  I caught a glimpse of it through the trees, but then I went through a very windy part thick with trees, and when I came out, I couldn’t see it.  I get to the little village, looking all around but not seeing any fire, or firetrucks or anything out of the ordinary.  Wondering how I could have missed something that big.  I go through the village, and I’m a mile or two down the road – trying to figure out what I had seen – when I see it again.  Only this time, I can see it’s … the moon.

So, it was like a quarter moon that was still rising when I first saw it, which is why I only saw it as a triangular thing.  When the moon is on the horizon, it can be rather reddish, and this was a few years ago when Canada was on fire, so there was a lot of smoke in the air to make it even redder.  And then there were clouds.  It must have been a thin layer of clouds that blocked enough of the moonness to make it not obviously the moon.  Also, the different thicknesses moving in front of it gave it a wavering effect you’d expect from smoke billowing from a huge fire.  But this layer of clouds thickened to the point it blocked out all the moonlight – or at least enough that I couldn’t see it over my headlights – which is why I didn’t see anything for a couple of miles.  But then the clouds cleared enough for me to see that the reason there weren’t any firetrucks is because I confused the moon for a housefire.

My Trump Ballroom prediction

If the monstrosity is actually built, I’m betting that it will only be used a few times.  And someone at one of these events will report some of the issues with the building.  Given that it’s Trump, it will be hideously gaudy.  But there will also be odd things wrong with it.  Like, for some reason there will only be one bathroom and the gold-plated toilets clog every other use.  And half the building will be freezing while the other half is sweltering, and the only thing that can be done is to alternate which half is doing what. 

Come January 2029 when – hopefully – a Democrat is sworn in, they will have 8,000 other Trump fuckups to fix, so this ballroom will probably just be used for storage for six months or so.  Eventually, they’ll get a reliable building inspector in, who will almost immediately condemn it.  Like they’ll discover that these load bearing “marble” columns are just plywood with some cheap marble pattern stickers.  Given the shoddy construction, the only way it could cost $300 million is if the people building it were paid $20 a minute, or half the money for it “mysteriously disappeared.”

So this Democrat President will – after going through proper channels – have the building torn down.  The Republicans in Congress will decry the destruction of this “Wonder of the World,” but the President will hopefully utterly ignore them.  Once it is gone, they’ll dust off the blueprints of the East Wing – give it some updates – and build a New East Wing.  And hopefully it – and a new garden – will be ready for the President’s second inauguration in January 2033.

That’s one possibility of what will happen to the trump ballroom.  The other is that when – take your pick of any 100 impeachment worthy scandals – finally takes hold and it looks like he’ll finally be held accountable, Trump will “have a stroke” and will resign for his health.  And the first thing President Vance will do is pardon him, not because he did anything wrong, but to stop the meanie democrats from tormenting this sick, old man who, by the grace of God, is out playing golf just days after he was on his death bed.  But Vance is not Trump, and I’m betting that whatever corrupt schemes are involved with the ballroom won’t immediately transfer over, so it might not even get built and will just remain this blot on the landscape until the Democrat elected in 2028 eventually has the time to just build a new and improved East Wing.

Personally, I’m hoping for that second option, but we’ll just have to wait and see.