Monday, May 4, 2020

Short story – “Failure to Communicate”

“Failure to Communicate”

Stopping in the hallway, Joe took a minute to straighten his halo and take a deep breath.  Letting it out, he walked into God’s outer office.  “Good morning,” he said to Esther, God’s secretary. 

Esther smiled.  “Good morning.”

“I have the monthly prayer report.  Is He in?”

“He’s always in, but now is not a good time.”


Esther slowly shook her head.  “In the past year He’s sent countless hurricanes, earthquakes and blizzards across the Earth, but people still haven’t gotten His message.  He’s debating whether He should unleash locusts.”

“Oh.” Joe frowned for a moment.  “You know, just before I died they had just come out with these things called cell phones.  From what I understand, just about everyone down there has one now.  Why doesn’t God just call everyone and get His message out that way?”

Esther shot up from her chair with her face red with rage.  “How dare you question the Lord’s methods of communication.  Leave this office, now.”


I first wrote this back in 2011 because it seemed that after ever earthquake or hurricane, some braindead, religious nutjob came out and said it was God’s wrath for gay marriage, or whatever.  I posted it on this site Ficly, which is still up, but their coding is messed up.  I came across it recently, and given how some idiots think the Coronavirus is God punishing us for impeaching Trump – so why did it start in China? – I figured I should polish it up and repost it.

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