The economics of Speed Demon Construction

So the other night – as I was trying to fall asleep – I had an interesting idea I thought about turning into a story, for a bit.  It seems that – in the comics and movies and whatever – whenever someone develops supernatural powers they become either a superhero or supervillain.  But I wondered what if some Joe got super speed and instead of fighting crime they started a construction business.  You’d buy all the materials and have them sitting on your lawn and the Speed Demon would show up, and a minute later you’d have a new roof, or garage, or whatever.  You’d pay like a hundred bucks, and then he’s off to the next job.  He’d probably have a deal with all the local pizza and sub shops to have something set out for him every half-hour or so.  There’d be a blur and the pizza would be gone with a $50 bill in its place.

Of course even in a large town there wouldn’t be enough construction jobs to keep the Speed Demon active all the time, so he’d diversify.  Like he’d have Speed Demon Movers where, in like thirty seconds he can have all your belongings packed up and loaded in a van.  And there’d also be the Speed Demon Garage.  You stop in, say the engine is making an odd noise, and in less than a minute – with you not even getting out of the car – the engine is disassembled on the floor next to you.  He fixes whatever the issue was, puts it all back together, and only charges for parts and maybe a flat $20 for labor.

Now this Speed Demon would likely put dozens of small business out of business by being able to do in an hour what would take them a month.  And even charging so little for his time, he could still make tens of thousands of dollars a day.  Some would say that if hundreds of people lose their jobs because someone else can do it better and cheaper, well, that’s Capitalism, and if you even think anything bad about Capitalism, well, you’re just a dirty socialist.

While in this world toxic goo usually just gives you cancer instead of superpowers, we do have a burgeoning Speed Demon: automation.  It’s unlikely we’ll have machines able to replace your roof in a minute or less, but it is likely that someday a (self-driving?) truck will pull up to your house with robotic arms in the back that lift up the materials and other robots that scurry around and do all the work.  Not as fast, but robots won’t need a lunch break, or even a restroom break, can work 24/7, and you don’t have to pay them.  So we’re coming to a point where hundreds of people will lose their jobs because machines will be able to do it faster and cheaper.  Yea Capitalism.  But how does Capitalism work if nobody has money because nobody has jobs?

Short story – “You Didn’t Pray Hard Enough”

“You Didn’t Pray Hard Enough”

An older man walked alone down a sidewalk.  Two young women – one recording everything with her phone – ran after him.  “Reverend Williams,” the one not recording called out.

The Reverend stopped and turned.  “Yes?”

The two women ran up and stopped before him.  “Reverend Williams.  My name is Ashley Carter and this is my sister Tina.”

Tina waved with the hand not holding her phone and said, “Hi.”

“We drove all the way from Kansas to see you,” Ashley explained.

“Oh?”

“We want to talk to you about what you said concerning the tragedy in Hays.”

The Reverend glanced around the sidewalk and said, “My dear lady, this is neither the time nor place to discuss theological issues.”

“This won’t take long,” Ashley said, “because in thirty seconds, I’m going to slap you.” She then held her phone up and started a countdown timer.

“What?”

“In … twenty-five seconds, I’m going to slap you.  Unless you pray to have God stop me.”

“That is absurd.”

“According to you, Reverend, if the people of Hays had prayed more, God would have stopped that tornado from destroying the town.  So surely God can stop a young girl from slapping someone.”

“Young lady, this is foolish.”

“All that gibber-gabber and you should be praying.”

“This is ridiculous.” The Reverend started walking away.

“Is your faith in God so weak you won’t even face a simple challenge?”

The Reverend turned back.  “Young lady,” he shouted.  “One does not challenge God to prove His power.”

“So you admit, telling people they can ‘Pray away a tornado’ was stupid advice.  So why say it?  Five, four, three, two, one.” Less hard than she could – but hard enough to be felt – Ashley slapped the Reverend’s face.

The Reverend staggered back a step.

Ashley stepped close and lowered her voice.  “If you had any decency, you would sell all the trinkets in your church and give the money to those in need in Hays.  You would then go and beg forgiveness from them for your idiotic, offensive, repugnant, dickish comments.  If you had any decency.”

***

I first wrote this story seven years ago (you can still read the original version here) after some evangelical asshat basically blamed the victims of a tornado for not praying enough.  And I figured that since there are a lot of evangelical asshats today saying stuff like you don’t need to wear a mask, just pray, I figured it was time to bring it back.

Fourth of July Sale!

For the last few years, I’ve tried to have a free sale for my ebook of political stories, Political Pies, around the Fourth of July.  But this year – because of everything – I figured I’d include a few of my other ebooks as well.  So if you are so disgusted with real politics you don’t want to even read fictional politics, you have a few other choices.  All of these will be free to download from Wednesday July 1st, through Sunday July 5th.  So grab them before you get too drunk.

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into this anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

A Man of Few Words

A Man of Few Words is a collection of fifty of my flash fiction stories. What would really happen if a “T-Rex on steroids” attacked a city? Why do science fiction writers make the best lovers? How does a company get to Second Base with VIPs? I explore these questions and more using less than 1000 words and in various genres from humor to horror and general fiction to science fiction.

The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars

Over the last few years a lot of people have caught Mars fever. It seems a week doesn’t go by without a report of some new group wanting to send people to Mars, or some big name in the industry talking about why we have to go to Mars, or articles talking about the glorious future humanity will have on Mars. All of this worries me. In my opinion, a Mars base is currently not sustainable because there’s no way for it to make money. A few missions may fly doing extraordinary science, but if it’s then cancelled for cost the whole Mars Project may just be seen as an expensive stunt.

Fortunately, there are other places in the solar system besides Mars. While bases on the moon and amongst the asteroids won’t be as inspirational as one on Mars, they will have opportunities for businesses to make goods and services as well as profits, meaning less chance of them being outright cancelled. This will make life better on Earth and secure a firm foothold in space for humanity. The essays in “The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars” allow me to describe my ideas on what can be accomplished on the moon and with the asteroids, and why Mars isn’t the destiny of humanity its cheerleaders make it out to be.

Duty

Who cleans up the mess when the time machine malfunctions?

A Cabin Under a Cloudy Sea and other stories

Hopefully, in the not too distant future humans will return to the moon. We will build bases and colonies, make farms and factories, and live, love and learn. “A Cabin Under a Cloudy Sea and other stories” contains five of my short stories that are all set upon the moon. They give the tiniest glimpse of the possibilities awaiting us there.