Short story – “For the People?”

“For the People?”

“Senator Gabis, you have the reputation of giving your campaign speeches all from memory, without a teleprompter or even notes.  How do you manage that?”

“It’s simple.” Gabis touched a finger to his temple and said, “The aliens implanted a memory chip in my brain which gives me perfect memory.” Gabis paused for a second, watching the shock spread across the reporter’s face, before going into a deep laugh.

He laughed for a few seconds, then said, “Seriously, I’ve always had a head for numbers: in sixth grade I could recite baseball stats for hours.  When I put that talent to more practical uses – such as my schoolwork – my grades went up.  And having a good memory really helped me when I played Laertes in Hamlet my senior year.” Gabis leaned forward and held up a hand. “Before you ask,” he said, “I believe all copies of my performance have been burned.”

With a chuckle, he sat back and continued.  “I know some people have a ‘system’ to help their memories, but whatever I use is just what I’ve found works for me.  And I’ve been doing it so long, it just comes naturally.  But to destroy the myth, I do use notes when I give me speeches.  Mostly to make sure I stay on track, because I do have a tendency to ramble.”

“I’m sure having such a good memory has helped being a Senator?”

“Definitely.  But I think the bigger help was learning to speed read.  There are tons of reports and memos that come through our offices every day, on top of 800 page bills.  All Senators have aides and interns who wade through all that paperwork and give a CliffsNotes version of everything.  Even I do that, but I do read every bill I vote on.  All of that is good practice because – hopefully – next January I’ll be sworn in as President, and the number of reports and memos Presidents deal with dwarf those of a Senator.  Then I’ll probably wish I really did have an alien chip to help me remember everything.”

#

Gabis nodded to his security and said, “Goodnight Bill.”

“Goodnight Senator.”

Gabis closed the door of the hotel room and walked over to the bar.  As he poured himself a scotch, a voice asked, “Was it wise to joke about us?”

Gabis turned around and – as he took a sip – studied the creature standing by his bed.  It was a rail thin humanoid about five feet tall, but with a dark green shell instead of skin.  Its head was bald except for a thick, frond sticking up from the very top.  And it didn’t wear any clothes, but if it had genitalia Gabis couldn’t identify them.

“One thing we humans love,” Gabis explained, “are conspiracy theories.  If you dig into the internet hard enough, you’ll probably find a blog or video of someone – last week – claiming that I was an agent of the Lizard People, or something.  But now, if anyone makes any remark like that, the reports will go back to this – obvious – joke, and we’ll all laugh at the nutcases who couldn’t figure that out.”

The creature looked at him with its too large, deep blue eyes for several moments.  Then the translator crystal on its chest pulsed with a yellow glow.  “You are a most unusual species.  We’ll allow this … indiscretion, but make sure there are no more.”

Gabis bit his bottom lip, then bowed.  “Of course.”

There was a flash of blue light, and when Gabis looked up the creature was gone.  He went to finish his scotch, but instead set it back on the bar.

He stripped out of his clothes and flopped back on the bed.  He then tapped his temple three times, and activated the implant to download the day’s report.  Everything his opponent had said – as well as everything said by all the surrogates on both sides, all the commentators, all the poll watchers, even all the blogs that mentioned the election – was dumped into Gabis’ mind.  All to be sorted and compartmentalized to further stack the election deck in his favor.

Not for the first time, Gabis wondered why the aliens were so eager to get him into the White House.

***

I first wrote this story in 2014 and posted it on a site that’s no longer around.  I’m reposting it now because, well, when else am I going to post a story about someone running for President with some sketchy help?