Short story – “Too Good to be True”

“Too Good to be True”

Pointing out the passenger side window, Jeff said, “I don’t know what they sell, but I think I’ll do all my shopping there this year.”

His wife Diana glanced at him and asked, “Where?”

“Uh, a store back there.  I didn’t catch the name of it.”

Diana gave him a longer glance with a raised eyebrow.  “Let me get this straight, you don’t know the name of the store, or what they sell, but you’re going to do all your shopping there?”

“They had a big sign out front saying ‘We don’t play Christmas music.’”

Diana smiled and shook her head.  After a moment, she said, “You know, they’ll be packed.  It’s probably like Black Friday in there the whole month of December.”

Jeff sighed.  “Of course.  I find something wonderful and you immediately find fault with it.”

“What did you expect?  I’m pretty sure I put that in my vows.”

With a falsetto, Jeff said, “Oh, let’s write our own wedding vows, it will be so romantic.” In his regular voice he added, “I knew that was going to bite me in the ass.”

Diana playfully slapped his shoulder.

***

The other night at work – as I listened to the fourteenth version of “Frosty” in ten minutes – I thought that if a store put out a sign saying they didn’t play Christmas music, I’d go in, without even knowing what they sold.  I thought that was a great idea, so I hammered out this story.

As I worked on the story, I realized that what we really need is a holiday from holiday music.  If you really love Christmas music, there are plenty of ways for you to listen to it.  But for captive audiences – shoppers or the poor workers who have to listen to it for hours on end – it would be nice to have an auditory break.  So I’m proposing that December 15 become No Christmas Music Day.  It’s about the middle of the month-long assault by Frosty the Red Nosed, silver, jingle bell who’s coming to town to make out with your mom, so it’s the perfect time for a break.  If we’re lucky, and it takes off, this formally one day holiday may start to creep and we’ll have two or three days free from Christmas music. 

One can hope.