Short story – “Did You Think Otherwise?”

“Did You Think Otherwise?”

A young boy walked around the corner of the building.  Half of the soldiers pointed their weapons at him, while the other half covered them.  The boy raised his hands and stated, “I mean you no harm.”

Lieutenant Harkin lowered his weapon, but the rest of his platoon didn’t.  “You speak English?” he asked.

The boy nodded.  “I do.  The men you seek are not here.”

“Is that so?  I suppose you expect me to just take your word for it.”

The boy smiled.  “I speak the truth.  You must decide if you believe me.”

“Okay,” Harkin replied, drawing the word out.  “If you don’t mind, I think we’ll still search the village.” He then gave orders and his men spread out to sweep the village.

Once his men were off, Harkin walked up to the boy.  “You said the men we seek aren’t here.  Do you know where they are?”

“In the mountains,” the boy replied, pointing to the north.

Harkin looked where the boy pointed and asked, “Could you be a little more specific.”

“So you could go kill my uncles and cousins?”

Harkin turned to the boy, but almost immediately looked to the ground.  “War is hell,” he muttered.

“Then why do you go to it willingly?”

For several seconds, Harkin debated how to reply to that.  In the end he gave a grim smile and stated, “I wonder that myself every day.”

The boy smiled.

Over the next few minutes, his soldiers reported in that there was no sign of the enemy in the village.  At last, Harkin said, “Okay, let’s move out.  Leave these people in peace.” He looked around to say goodbye to the boy – who, he realized, he had never asked his name – but the boy had disappeared.

Once the soldiers were gone, the boy’s mother found him by the well.  In the local dialect she scolded him, “You need to be more careful with the Americans.”

The boy shrugged.  “Why should I treat them any differently than the Romans?”

***

I first wrote this story back in 2011.  I forget what actually prompted it (possibly some news about US troops in Iraq or Afghanistan) but the thought was how many American evangelical types just assume that Jesus will come back as an American.

Random Story – The 100-year tweet

This is just an odd little story from my life.

Over ten years ago, back when Twitter was a thing and relevant, I found a service that let you schedule your tweets.  There was a calendar, and you just picked the date you wanted for your tweet, and then you set the time and everything.  To post something in the next month, you had to click on the “Next Month” button. 

One night, I guess I was feeling a little silly, so I clicked the “Next Month” button twelve times, and scheduled a tweet to post in one year.  I forget what exactly I said, but it was something like, “I scheduled this tweet a year ago.  Do you guys have flying cars yet?” Over the next year, I patiently waited for it to be posted.  And I think someone did make a sarcastic reply about flying cars, so this one-year tweet served its purpose.

But a day or so after scheduling the one-year tweet, I was wondering if I should do a five-year, or maybe even a ten-year tweet.  Then I figured, why not go all in.  I don’t know how long it took me, but I clicked the “Next Month” button 1,200 times so I could schedule a tweet in … June 2112, or whatever.  I forget what I wrote, but I think it was something like, “I scheduled this tweet 100 years ago.  Is Twitter still a thing?  Is the internet still a thing?”

Unfortunately, my 100-year tweet will never be posted.  Mainly because I think it was about six months after my one-year tweet posted the service went belly up.  I don’t know if there is some digital archive that holds all the tweets they never got to post or if all that was just deleted. 

I’ve sat here for about five minutes trying to think of some thought-provoking thing to say about the impermanence of … well, everything.  But I got nothing.

The Fall of SpaceX?

I’ve been a big supporter of space for as long as I can remember.  In 2009 I was thrilled when SpaceX became the first private company to put a satellite into orbit with a private rocket.  It seemed like we were on the verge of the real Space Age.  But in the last few years, it just seems like we’ve lost our way. 

After some thought, I figured out part of the problem.  If you went back twenty years to 2004 and found the 28-year-old me and told him, “There’s this company, SpaceX, I don’t know if you’ve heard anything of them yet, but in a few years they’ll build a small rocket that will be the first private rocket to put a satellite into orbit.  They’ll build a bigger rocket, which by 2024 will be a workhorse, launching over 100 times in 2024 alone.  Part of the reason for the high launch cadence is the first stage is reusable, as in it lands and can be reflown at least twenty some times.  And they have a capsule capable of putting humans into orbit, either as a taxi for NASA astronauts, or just private astronauts.  From all of that, what do you think they’re doing in 2024?”

2004 me would think for a bit, and then would probably answer, “Space stations.  Maybe just two or three module ones.  Some would be hotels, while others would be labs, either general or dedicated to biological research or materials testing.  And there might even be … garages that would send out robotic or crewed craft to bring back damaged satellites for repair.  I mean, that’s what I’d be doing.  What’s this SpaceX doing?”

“They’ve launched thousands upon thousands of satellites to give internet service to people.”

2004 me.  “That’s … cool, I guess.  Do they have any plans?”

“Oh, they’re working on an even larger rocket that will not only have a reuseable first stage, but a reuseable second stage.”

2004 me.  “Oh, will they use that to launch space stations, sort of a Skylab thing?”

“No, they’re mainly focused on starting a Mars Colony.”

2004 me, slightly confused.  “But, if you had a space station, you could test the life support systems needed for the months long voyage to Mars.  Not to mention, it would be a good idea to have plenty of private astronauts with some space experience to be the command crew on a colony ship.  Especially to do spacewalks in case something needs repaired.”

“No, I think the plan is to just fling them to Mars and hope for the best.”

2004 me, really confused.  “That’s … all they’re doing?”

“Well, they’re contracted with NASA for a lunar lander version to land crew on the moon, but who knows if anything will come of it.  Like, in the original timeline by 2024 they should have had an uncrewed test flight, which would involve putting the lander in orbit, and then launching like fifteen refueling missions to refuel it to fly to the moon.  But so far, they’ve had six test flights, and while they have recovered one first stage, none of the second stages – that are to be rapidly reuseable – have survived reentry in any shape to be reused.  But the owner recently said they’d fly a couple cargo missions to Mars in 2026, although you’d think such missions would also have rovers but I’ve not heard anything about them, even though they’d take a few years to build.”

2004 me.  “What?”

I think this is why 2024 me is starting to worry that SpaceX will … crash and burn.  A few years ago, I wrote a post about how if you were serious about building a Mars Colony, you’d probably want some orbiters to map out certain resources or look for hazards to plan where to put this colony, or to put a bunch of weather, or communications satellites around Mars, or maybe do some reentry tests to get some information before going all out.  But that would require money, and knowledge of building satellites, and rockets powerful enough to send them to Mars.  I mean, it’s not like Elon Musk and SpaceX have had all these things for years.

I fully support the scientific exploration of Mars, but I maintain that the challenges of a Mars Colony far exceed the benefits.  We can mine metals from the asteroids and build rotating colonies that we can fill with life from Earth without worrying about destroying any alien life on Mars.  We could even put rockets on these stations and send them outside the solar system.  If we go to Mars, we get a planet.  If we go to the asteroids, we get the galaxy.

It seems like SpaceX is passing up on what 2004 me would consider as the “next logical steps” to making humanity a spacefaring civilization, for an all or nothing Mars Colony that, almost certainly, will not happen as quickly or glamorously as Musk and his cheerleaders say it will.  It almost reminds me of some observations I heard about a year ago about this car company.  A decade ago, Tesla was The Electric Car Company.  But over the last decade or so, they haven’t done much.  Instead of expanding their market with more affordable cars, they seem to be just doing crazier and crazier publicity stunts.  And while they’re doing that, other car companies have started making their own electric cars, maybe not as exciting as Teslas, but actually available to the average car buyer.  A decade ago, Tesla was King, but no more.  Right now, SpaceX is King.  But by focusing on some grand vision, will their competitors be able to move into the “next logical steps?” A decade from now, will other rocket companies be taking us to the moon, while SpaceX is left doing stunts to stay in the news?

Small acts of resistance

As a white, fourthish generation, heterosexual cismale, I know that I’m not at the top of the list of people the magats will go after.  But I do live in a very red part of the state.  As an introvert who isn’t a fan of confrontation, I do my best to keep my thoughts, especially political ones, to myself.  I have coworkers and family who voted for that treasonous shit weasel who, since I never say anything, probably assume I did as well.  Some will say I should cut those people out of my life, but I’m not that strong.

Anyway, I was physically ill the day after the election and had basically given up.  The coming shitocalypse will probably be so great that nothing I did could stop it.  I felt like that for a day or so, but as the disgust faded, it was replaced with a cold fury.  I will not let the fucking fascists win.  While that would make for a nice bumper sticker – that I wouldn’t feel safe enough to put on my car – it didn’t change the fact I’m still an introvert who doesn’t deal well with people.  What could I do? 

My plan is to write stories.  A few months ago, I had decided that I would put aside other writing stuff and spend 2025 finishing a fantasy book that I’ve been working on, off and on, for a decade or so.  That was the plan.  The plan now, is to hopefully spend half the time on that, and the other half on other short stories.  These short stories would be one part showing a better world where people have the basic freedom to be different, and one part being good for morale for those of us fighting for such a world.  I mean, even in the darkest days of WWII, I’m sure there was some French Resistance member cracking jokes to make the other members laugh.

Now, in the grand scheme of things, an unknown writer writing stories few people will ever read doesn’t seem like much.  And I realized that most of us fighting on the side of light feel like we can never do enough.  Our small acts of resistance won’t save the world.  But we have to remember we are not alone.  There are millions of real patriots out there who truly want to make America better, and every small act of resistance, from helping someone in need to just living a good life, it all builds and adds up. 

So, what small acts of resistance are you doing?

What might happen in the next four years

Since we are apparently living in the dumbest timeline, I wondered what we might see happen in the next four years.  So here are some things I hope won’t happen.

First off, a couple weeks before the election I read somewhere someone predicted that shortly after Trump’s Inauguration, Vance would 25th Amendment him because he clearly has dementia.  But if we accept that they’re vile assholes who would do anything for power, I’d say it’s more likely Trump will be shot by an “immigrant” as an excuse to really go after them.  If he survives, they could spin it as the injuries are so great that he has to resign.  And then a week later there will be pictures of him golfing.

I expect Palestine will cease to exist, with Gaza and the West Bank being annexed by Israel.  This will likely start a big Mideast war, that the US will almost certainly trip into.  And with the US preoccupied there, it’s likely China will invade Taiwan, and North Korea will attack South Korea.  If we send aid to either is probably a coin flip.

Ukraine will end up having to let a big chunk of their territory be taken by Russia to end the war.  But if the US pulls out of NATO, there is a chance that there will be a new Common European Defense Organization, or something as the EU becomes the new leader of the Free World.

One not bad thing that might happen, is Puerto Rico might just declare independence.  If they did it right now, there might be issues, but when the economy tanks, and we end up in two or three wars, they could leave without many noticing. 

So those were my immediate thoughts.  I wish I could say none of them will happen, but ….

Good signs

I live in a rather red area of Pennsylvania.  I also watch a bunch of stuff on YouTube.  So I’ve seen a lot of political ads these last few months.  Now I didn’t keep track of what ads I saw, but it seems to me that even a couple of weeks ago, for every three Democrat ads I saw, there were four Republican ads.  But now it does seem that for every three Republican ads, there are four Democrat ones.  Did the Republicans run out of money, or have they realized they’re not winning Pennsylvania so they’re putting their money elsewhere, or am I completely wrong about all of this?  Who knows.  One thing that is interesting, is how most of the Republican ads are of the doom and gloom and “They support trans people,” kind, whereas the Democrat ones are the “Here’s what we’re going to do for America,” as well as, “Election Day is November fifth.  Please vote,” kind.

Moving away from ads, I’ve seen a couple houses with Republican yard signs, but not Trump signs.  So there are some people that are Republicans, but not Trump-Republicans, which is a low bar, but too few clear it.

On the roads I take to work, I see a dozen or so Trump signs.  But last week, as I was driving along, I saw something and went, “Is that a Harris sign?” Well, it was, but it had been vandalized into a slightly rude sign.  I was still a few minutes from work, and I wondered if that person had put up a Harris sign only for someone to vandalize it, or if they had stolen a sign to vandalize it and put it up as a “joke.” Not knowing who lived there, it’s hard to say.  But it’s unlikely they drove for hours to steal a sign, so there was probably someone in the area who put up a Harris sign.  And then, as I pulled in to work, I saw a Harris bumper sticker, which was the first actual Harris sign I’ve seen.  Again, I live in a very red part of the state, and I pretty much only go to and from work.

But, the other day I had to run an errand which took me on a road I hadn’t been on for over a month.  On that road I remembered seeing a dozen or so Trump signs.  They’re still there, but this time, I saw two houses with actual, unvandalized Harris signs.  There are brave blue dots in the sea of red. 

Election Day Sale

This election is almost over!  In a matter of days we’ll know if America will remain a land of democracy, or if it wall fall into fascism.  That’s assuming in the months after the election the fascists don’t burn the country down in their attempts to steal the election.  But that’s Big Challenge Number 2.  Big Challenge Number 1 is getting out and voting to show that the majority of Americans don’t want Orange Hitler back in the White House. 

Therefore, as with every election for the last decade plus, I’m having an Election Day Sale on several of my ebooks.  From Friday November 1st, through Election Day Tuesday November 5th, the following five ebooks will be free to download.  All I ask is that you vote.  If you need it, this site will help you find your polling place.  (Also, apparently, it’s technically illegal for me to give you something to get you to vote, but if a free ebook from an unknown author was the deciding factor on whether or not you voted, then the case could be made that anything could have been the deciding factor, like choosing not to vote because you didn’t want to stand in line after stubbing your toe that morning.  And it’s not like I’m dumb enough to just give people a million dollars.  Anyway, there’s no way for me to know if you vote or not, so you can take a book and not vote.  Which is fine, except in the sense that this election will determine the very fate of the United States.)

If you’ve already voted, then reward yourself with some free books.  If you haven’t voted yet, then grab something to read while you wait in line.  And if you’re not an American citizen, grab an ebook anyway and participate in your government however you can, because if nothing else, this election has shown that the forces of authoritarianism are everywhere, and they unfortunately don’t sleep.

***

 

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

 

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet

The All-You-Can-Read Buffet is a collection of forty stories covering various genres and themes ranging from six to over 4,200 words in length. Some of these stories I wrote a decade ago, while others were written especially for this collection. All together, they are a buffet of my writing. As such, I encourage you to read as much as you want. Go back for seconds, thirds, fourths even. I won’t even mind if you skip over the stuff you don’t like, but, to quote your mother, “How do you know you don’t like it? Have you tried it?”

 

Relics

This work contains some profanity and sexual situations. It is intended for mature audiences only.

A plague that kills men has devastated the world’s population. Only a few thousand boys and men were able to be quarantined. But Mike Shay is the only man known to have a natural immunity to the plague. Therefore, he is practically the only man in a world of women. He spends his days reading, playing video games, and making the occasional sperm donation. Then Dr. Veronica Barrett shows up, disrupting what passes for his life. She says she’s there to investigate his “mental wellbeing,” but is there more to her visit?

Instead of the normal, adolescent, heterosexual male fantasy of being the only guy on a planet of women, “Relics” tries to give a more realistic view of Mike’s life.

 

The Future is Coming

As a science fiction writer, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how technology will change the way we live. I’ve come up with these ten short essays about science fictional elements that will – almost certainly – one day become science fact as a way for people to start coming to terms with them. Because I’ve spent time thinking about clones and AIs, I feel I’ll be okay when they do finally show up whereas most people will probably freak out. I hope these essays will get people to start thinking about the future because, no matter what we do, the future is coming.

 

Lonely Phoenix

Partway to a new colony world, board member Geoffrey Ames is woken from hibernation by the caretaking crew of the Lucian. They require him to look into the matter of their fellow crewman Morgan Heller. Morgan’s claims – such as being over 1500 years old – would normally land him in the psychiatric ward, except he can back up some of his other claims.

Political Karens

The idea for this post has been kicking around for … I don’t know how many months.  It started when I saw a post about how some Democrats weren’t planning on voting for Biden because of how he’s handled the whole issue of Gaza.  On one hand, I fully understand the dream of only voting for politicians that fully support the same causes you do.  But on the other hand, I doubt Trump could even find Gaza on a map. 

I know some people get really put off being told they have to support the lesser evil, but where the fuck have they been living the past forty years?  Yes, the system is broken.  Yes, the only thing more antidemocratic than only having two choices is only having one.  And yes, Harris isn’t perfect.  But you know what, NOBODY IS FUCKING PERFECT!  If a politician agreed with me 100% on every one of the 8,000 issues we have in the country/world right now, I’d figure they were just lying to get my vote. 

If you took the 100 issues I care most about, and looked at, not what Harris promises to do but what she can probably actually deliver, maybe 10 of those issues will see marked improvement, 5 might actually get noticeably worse, and the other 85 will have little if any change.  Whereas with Trump, 95 will get noticeably worse, while the other 5 will have little if any change.  Will Harris bring about a new golden age of America and the world?  No.  But she will make things slightly better.  Trump will dose the country in gasoline and light a match.  The choice is between slightly better and utter destruction, and somehow people can’t decide? 

Even if every American agreed on what America should be, there’s no way to get there within a Presidential term.  And too many adult Americans don’t understand that.  They’re apparently still at the stage where if they want candy, but if their parent says no, they immediately start crying and screaming.  We can only try to make things better tomorrow than they are today, which means we are often just left with baby steps.  But they can be baby steps in the right direction.

This brings us to my concept of a Political Karen.  We all know the image of a hyper-Karen, someone who would demand the complete destruction of a pizza place as acceptable compensation for not putting enough green peppers on their pizza, even though they never mentioned extra green peppers when they ordered the pizza.  I hope most of us would not only not agree with that, but would see it as going too far.  Now a Political Karen, is someone who – watching the country be destroyed by a fascist Trump – would think that if only Harris had stated support for Policy Y, they might have voted for her, thus avoiding this whole situation.  And I would hope, that most people would see that as going too far as well.

Short story – “Spooky Story”

“Spooky Story”

Closing the front door, Karl called out, “We’re back.” He unhooked Buster’s leash and the Basset Hound plodded into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

Karl took his shoes off and walked into the living room.  His wife Susan was where he had left her: in her “office” corner staring at her laptop.  He walked up behind her and kissed the top of her head.  “What are you stuck on?”

Susan sighed.  “It’s spooky season, and we’re going into an important election, so I wanted to do my part and write a spooky election story.”

“What did you come up with?”

“I wrote, ‘President Trump,’ and I didn’t want to go on.”

Karl snorted.  He then pretended to scream.  “Agggh.  The horror.” Kissing her forehead he said, “That hack Stephen King has nothing on you.”

Susan smiled.  “It just feels like I need to do more.”

Rubbing her shoulder, Karl said, “Come on.  We all know we’ll have President Clinton 2.0.  I doubt he even wants to be President.  It would mean he’d have to work for once in his life.  And he can make so much more money giving speeches bitching about how terrible she is.  If we’re lucky, in a year or so he’ll fade into obscurity.”

Register to vote, or check your registration

To me, it seems the only hope Trump has to “win” is if his supporters throw so many wrenches into the voting process that there will be “questions” as to who actually won.  And then his Supreme Court stooges will go, “Since there’s no way to really know who won, we’ll just say that Trump won.” And that will be the end of this experiment with democracy.

One of the wrenches being thrown, is purging people from the voter rolls.  Yes, voter rolls need to be kept up to date as people move, or become eligible to vote, or when they die.  And then there are those who purge thousands of voters from the rolls weeks before an election for … reasons? 

So if you feel that America should remain a democracy and that the voters – not corrupt election officials – should determine who wins an election, then you need to do your part.  Right now, doing your part is to register to vote – if you’ll be 18 by Election Day – or checking your registration.  You should be able to check your registration on your state’s website, although some of them apparently don’t make it obvious.  So another site you might want to use is Vote.gov.  The reason to do it now, is in some states there is a deadline as to when you can register, and it may only be days away from when this is posted.  But if you are registered, you should still check your registration because if there are problems – from the normal glitches that happen in databases of millions of people or from politically motivated purges – you can get it all sorted out well before the election.  And the smoother things flow on Election Day, the smaller the wrench the forces of tyranny will have to destroy the process. 

Ideas for Election Stories

Several months ago, I wondered what I could do to help defeat Trump.  Without going crazy, like donating money or talking to people.  What things were there that I felt comfortable enough doing?  I figured I could write some stories, as sort of a cautionary tale of what a Trump Dictatorship could look like.  That was a great idea, but it turns out I don’t have the time, energy, patience, skill, etc., to write all these stories.  But I don’t want these story ideas to just fade away after November.  Especially if there is someone out there who could make something of these ideas to further the cause of making Trump’s defeat even greater.  So here are some story ideas I won’t get around to writing before the election.  If you can make something of them, then go for it.

Story #1

This is a simple story of some news reporter giving a glowing speech about how grand and vibrant Trump is as he begins his third term and how the Chosen People cheer him on while the Anti-Trumpers are trying to destroy the world, or some such BS.  During all of this, in the background there is video of Trump, who is just this drooling blob in a wheelchair. 

Story #2

There has been a lot of weird shit during this election.  Like, didn’t Vance once say something about only people with kids, biological kids, that is, should vote because only they have a stake in the future, or some shit?  I know it was only like a month ago, but a thousand weirder things have happened since.  Anyway, this story is a news report about how a Republican Congress passed some bill, which Trump signed, that restricted voting to only people with biological children.  The bill was named after some Senator who, thanks to the genetic testing now required to vote, learns that his kids aren’t biologically his.

Story #3

This is more of a “fun” story, in that some Republican asshole tries to impeach President Harris on Day 1.  The fun comes when someone, possibly even President Harris, rips them and the entire Republican party to shreds over it.  I think the greatest problem with this one is that there is so much material to shred the Republican party on, that you run the risk of dragging on for too long.

Story #4

This is a story I actually started writing, with the title “A Rose by Any Other Name.” The story was about some Republican asshole in Congress proposing a bill that if passed would certainly be signed by Trump, that outlawed giving gender neutral names to babies.  Like, the parents couldn’t just name their kid Sam, it would either have to be Samuel or Samantha. 

This idea began when I wondered if parents would start doing that so that the kid could decide if they were a Samuel or a Samantha or just a Sam.  I don’t know if that is even a thing parents are doing, but I realized that even if it isn’t a thing that’s happening, there are those who would spend a great deal of time and effort to make sure it couldn’t happen.  I mean, it’s not like they could spend that time and effort to try to solve an actual problem that’s harming people. 

I started writing this, and one point I wanted to bring up is there are a couple countries that have some sort of naming board.  Some of these are for cultural reasons, while others are for more grammatical reasons.  I sort of fell into a rabbit hole on this, which just confused me so I set the story aside and now I don’t have time to hammer something out of it. 

This election is far from over

With all the buzz over Harris and the multiplying dumpster fires that is the Trump campaign, I was starting to feel relieved.  And then I remembered that’s how I felt in 2016.  We had one competent candidate with years of service who, while not being able to solve all of America’s problems, would at least take steps to put dents in the problems, and then there was this dumpster fire named Trump.  And while I still believe that come next January we’ll have President Harris, here are my election predictions and why I won’t really relax for another six months or so.

First off, I predict that Harris will easily win the popular vote getting the most votes of any candidate ever.  I also predict that she’ll win the Electoral College roughly the same as Biden did in 2020.  She might pick up two or three states, but she might also lose a state or two. 

Immediately after the election, there will probably be two hundred or so lawsuits filed about the election.  I predict that 50ish percent of them will be dismissed almost immediately because they are clearly batshit insane.  Another 40ish percent will be dismissed rather quickly because, while not obviously insane, there won’t be any evidence of whatever criminal act they claim happened.  The remaining lawsuits, while actually falling into the previous two categories, will unfortunately be seen by judges who will take them as an opportunity to audition for the next Supreme Court seat Republicans get to fill.  And while no actual wrongdoing will ever be proven from all these lawsuits, their true purpose will just be so countless assholes can talk about the “concerning questions” these lawsuits bring to the “faith” in the outcome of the 2024 Election.

When Congress certifies the election, I doubt there will be another attack on the Capital, if for no other reason that this time we’ll have a President who won’t just sit there and watch it happen for hours without doing anything.  I’m sure there will be protests, but they will be kept clear of the Capital.

And while I’m 99% certain that Harris will be sworn in as President next January, and all the MAGA trickery will amount to … nothing, I can’t shake the feeling that the truly diabolical members of the right have some secret plan to throw a wrench into Harris’s Presidency.  But I bet such a plan would come out before or just after she’s sworn in.  Which is why I won’t fully be relaxed about this election until sometime next spring.

Random Story – Payphone stories

These are just odd little stories from my life.

Back in ’92 or ’93, I went on a school trip to Toronto.  It was one of these where we left at midnight, did something in Toronto, and were home again at like 4 AM the next day.  What we did on that trip, I don’t remember.  But at one point, a group of us were someplace and we figured it was a good time to use the restroom.  I remember we went down a set of stairs, and ended up in this lounge area with the restrooms on the ends.

A friend of mine and I had finished, and we were waiting out in this lounge for another one of our friends.  In this lounge, there were four or five payphones, and I was standing next to them.  I don’t know why, but I stuck my finger in the change return of the nearest one.  My friend started to say something about if I was that desperate for money or something, when I pulled out a quarter.  He then got angry alternating between claiming I was trying to prank him and what was the luck that I’d check some random payphone in another country and find a quarter.  Well, it was a Canadian quarter from a Canadian phone.  If it had been a US quarter, that would have been another level.

The other payphone story I have, happened like ten years later.  When I lived in towns, I enjoyed taking walks late at night to let my mind wander and plot stories.  Which is something I can only really do in a place with sidewalks and streetlights, and where I live now has neither.  But I get to see a lot more stars.  Anyway, one of my walking routes took me by the courthouse in this town, and outside it there were two or three payphones.  One night, I was walking by them and just randomly checked for coins, but didn’t find any.  I kept going, until I heard a woman call out to me.  She walked over and tried to give my like $10.  I was confused, until I realized she thought I was homeless.  She figured only homeless people would check for coins.

I can’t remember the last time I saw a payphone.  But if I ever see one again, I’ll probably check for change, just for memories.  Plus, a quarter doesn’t buy as much as used to, but it’s still money.

Slaying dragons

A month or so ago, I saw some article where some billionaire said something like, “You peasants can’t understand how tough it is to be rich.” I mean, that wasn’t what was actually said, but that seemed to be their real thoughts.  I read that, and I thought, You know, in days of yore, there would be brave knights who would come and slay the foul beasts that hoarded gold and laid waste to the land. 

I liked that image, and for a couple of days I tried to figure out some story I could write with it.  While I didn’t find a story idea, I did realize what I would do if I had a few million dollars I didn’t know what else to do with.  I would create an organization, The Knights of … some term that hasn’t already been taken by some other organization or metal band.  This organization would hire a bunch of investigative journalists, forensic accountants, and a ton of lawyers.  And the point of the organization would be to … metaphorically slay dragons.  Probably in a monthly, online newsletter.

Are you some company who doesn’t pay your employees overtime?  Do you use some accounting slight-of-hand to underreport your profits to the IRS?  Do you use your obscene wealth to basically buy a politician?  Our job would be to make sure everyone knows that. 

Now we wouldn’t just repeat baseless gossip.  The key point for the organization would be that everything we report would have been double and triple confirmed to the point it would hold up in a court of law.  And if the gossip was some company was doing something illegal but we couldn’t prove it, we would come out and say that we were unable to prove it.  I guess I should say we wouldn’t slay all the dragons, just the ones we could prove were committing crimes.  And I bet, most dragons would still be upset by that.  Curious.

A message to political introverts

I am an introvert.  Three independent groups of people gave me the nickname Silent Steve.  I maybe say a couple thousand words a week, and most of that is at work where I have to talk to customers.  If I didn’t have to work, and talking to the dog didn’t count, I could easily be down to a hundred or so words a week.  There are several factors as to why that is.  First, it’s just the way I am.  Second, I do have interests I could talk about, but most of the people I know who share those interests are online.  And third, many of my views on religion or politics aren’t widely shared where I live.

Expanding on that third point, I think Trump was the worst President since … ever.  The next worse one would probably be Nixon, but at least he had the decency to resign.  I have a pretty good grasp of history since WWII, and I know there were some corrupt Presidents in the 1800s, but none of them tried to overthrow the government.  I’m in the rough spot of on one hand wanting Trump to be punished in prison for the rest of his miserable life for the uncountable number of crimes he’s committed, but on the other hand I see that he clearly has mental issues and deserves dignified treatment and care. 

Now I live in a very red county.  I had written that even in the weeks after the assassination attempt, I didn’t see any increase in Trump signs or hats or anything.  But in the last couple of weeks, I still haven’t seen any new yard signs, but there has been a slight uptick in people wearing Trump hats or shirts.  And even people not wearing such obvious MAGA clothing will still blurt out some MAGAish statements.  It’s not a question of if, but when I’ll hear someone make a racist comment about Harris. 

All of this is to say that I don’t talk about politics in general, but in the last decade or so I’ve become even more guarded.  So I’m not one to put up a Harris/Walz sign, or wear a button or anything like that.  And I’m too broke to help them with money.  I do write stories, such as “Hot Enough for Ya?” which shows what could happen with a second Trump term, but too few people follow me and will even see it. 

This came to a head a couple of months ago.  I felt like I wasn’t doing enough to save democracy.  Like, the fate of the nation rested entirely on my shoulders.  I wanted to do more, but couldn’t and felt terrible.  And I realized that one, it’s not all up to me, but more importantly two, I wasn’t the only one who felt that way.  There are probably tens of thousands of people across the country giving themselves ulcers worried that they, personally, aren’t doing enough.  Maybe they’re an introvert and don’t like talking to strangers about things like abortion or climate change.  Maybe they’re struggling financially and can’t really afford to give some politician $20.  Or maybe they’re a blue dot in a rabid MAGA sea and don’t want to make themselves a target.  And my message to all the political introverts out there is you are not alone.  You don’t have to single-handedly save democracy.  If the only thing you are emotionally/financially/physically able to do is vote on November 5, then do that.  The entire point of talking to people and paying for ads is to get people to vote because that’s the most important thing.  And if that is the only thing you can do, then you’ve done the most important thing. 

#

And just a quick note, since voting is the most important thing, check to make sure you are registered to vote.  If you find any issues now – say you were “mistakenly” purged – it can all be fixed so Election Day will run a bit smoother for you.

Short story – “Hot Heads”

 “Hot Heads”

With a whimpered grunt, Jacob fell against a tree.  He immediately regretted the jolt that gave his broken rib.  A last-minute gust of wind had caught his parachute and slammed him into a tree trunk.  From the pain, he figured he had broken at least one rib, but he wouldn’t be surprised if it was two or three.  He had also lost a bunch of skin along his right side and his upper arm.

Jacob had no idea how much time he lost from the various times he passed out from the pain or time spent trying to rip the parachute into bandages.  But he finally got moving.  He had to find the bomb.

Leaning against the tree, part of Jacob knew he needed to rest, but the rest of him knew that if he gave into the cries of his legs to sit down, he might never get going again.

“I have to go,” he told himself.  He remained leaning against the tree.

Taking as deep a breath as he could Jacob shouted, “I have to find the bomb.” With that, he took a staggered step forward.  He made it two or three trees before he needed to stop again.

He had only been there for a few seconds when he thought he heard something.  He tried to quiet his panting to listen.  At first, he figured he had imagined it, then he distinctly heard the thump of a distant helicopter.

Was it just a helicopter on a regular mission, or had the authorities been notified?  Despite the drought, there were still plenty of leaves on the trees, so it was unlikely they would spot him.  Regardless, he needed to find that bomb.

The helicopter didn’t seem to be getting any closer, so Jacob forced himself to keep going.  He was soon rewarded when the wind changed and brought him the scent of gasoline.  Looking around he saw the bomb’s parachute tangled in the branches.

Even with his goal in sight, it still took him a few minutes to reach the bomb.  It was just a metal case hammered out in a basement.  It had broken open in the crash, and the hundred gallons of homemade napalm were spilled out onto the forest floor.

Jacob dropped to his knees next to the bomb.  Fortunately, it had landed with the detonator panel almost on top.  Jacob took out his multi-tool and opened the screwdriver.  He unscrewed the screws from the panel and removed it.  One of the wires for the detonator had come loose.  Jacob couldn’t help but laugh.  All the weeks they had spent, ruined by a loose wire.

Their plan had been simple.  Sam had his own plane, so they built a bomb and dropped it in the dry forest hoping to start a massive forest fire.  But after they had pushed the bomb out, there had been no explosion.  After some debate, they flew back to the airport, picked up a parachute, and flew back to the site.  Since Jacob was the only one who had ever jumped from a plane – eight years earlier – he was volunteered to find out what had happened to the bomb.

The big biofuel companies planted vast forests only to pulp them for biofuel.  They planted new forests and the cycle repeated.  The trees took the carbon out of the atmosphere, and the fuel put it back.  In theory, no new carbon was added to the atmosphere, and the carbon already there was just recycled.  Their claim was that while it wouldn’t stop global warming, it would slow it down some.

The fools.  God was going to destroy the world with fire, and there was no use fighting the inevitable.  Jacob took a deep breath and let it out.  He said a silent prayer, then reattached the wire.

***

I first wrote this story over ten years ago.  At the time, I think it was about how crazy would someone be for wanting to destroy a feeble attempt at stopping climate change.  Not that terrorists are known for well thought out arguments, but still, once you reach some point of lunacy, you pretty much become ineffective.  Oh, for simpler times.

Random Story – My smoking car

This is just an odd little story from my life.

Years ago, I had an almost thirty-minute commute from where I lived to where I worked.  Fortunately, there was a freeway that ran almost the entire way.  Unfortunately, thousands of other people also drove on it, which lead to traffic jams every morning and evening.  When I first started that job, my car was kinda old, and liked to overheat, especially if it wasn’t moving and getting some air flow.  Because of that, and because who likes sitting in traffic jams, I found alternate routes to work and home, which was pretty easy because there were highways and smaller roads that ran pretty much parallel to the freeway.  I took one route to work in the morning, and a different one home.  The route I took in the morning started with me getting on the freeway, but then getting off just before the spot the traffic jams started.  I then took a highway until it rejoined the freeway at a spot after where the traffic jams usually cleared up.  Not long after I started this job, I got a new car.  It didn’t have the overheating problem, but I still didn’t care to sit in traffic, so I continued following these routes. 

One rainy morning, a couple of months after getting my new car, I was going to work and I took the exit off the freeway and stopped at a red light.  I sat there for twenty seconds or so, when I saw a wisp of what looked like smoke coming up from my hood.  I was freaked out by this, but then the light turned green and there were plenty of cars behind me, so I had to go.  But I stopped at a little strip mall maybe a quarter of a mile down the road and popped my hood.  I’m not a car guy, but I figured I would be able to spot a fire, but I didn’t see anything, not even smoke.  So the rest of the drive to work was a bit nerve racking, and every time I hit a red light, I’d strain to see if there was any smoke, but I didn’t see any more.

About a week later, the same thing happened at the same spot, and I again checked but didn’t see anything wrong.  This happened three or four times over a month, with me eventually not even stopping to check if anything was wrong. 

I don’t know how much time I spent thinking about all this on my drives to work, but I eventually noticed that this only happened when there were two conditions.  First, it either had to be raining, or a very dewy morning.  And second, it only happened at this one stop light.  If it was raining, but I hit a green light coming off the freeway, but then stopped at the next red light a bit down the road, there wasn’t any “smoke.” I eventually hypothesized, that on rainy or dewy mornings, some water droplets would condense on the underside of my hood.  The five or so minutes of driving on the freeway was enough to heat the engine up that when I braked at this red light – with the exit ramp slopped slightly downward – these drops would break off, fall on the hot engine, and evaporate into steam which I mistook for smoke.  These droplets probably fell on the engine at several points, but I was usually driving and the airflow dispersed them before I could see them.  Any stops I made before this point, my engine probably wasn’t hot enough yet, and any stops after that point, all the water droplets had probably already fallen.  It was only this very narrow bit of coincidences that led me to think my car was on fire.

An encouraging sign?

I live in a pretty red part of Pennsylvania.  Like, in 2020 Trump received 78.7% of all the votes in the county, which was an increase from the 78.0% he received in 2016.  In 2020, in my drive to work I saw a dozen or so Trump signs and flags.  And they stayed up, like, in late 2021 there were still a couple yard signs out.  And hardly a week goes by I don’t see some asshole wearing a MAGA hat or an “I’m voting for the felon!” t-shirt at work. 

But back in … June or so I noticed that I was seeing less and less of those people.  And I hadn’t noticed any yard signs.  I was thinking maybe the fever had passed, and I was thinking of writing up a post about how not seeing Trump signs everywhere was an encouraging sign, but I figured I would wait a little closer to the election before doing that.

Then, on July 13th, I was at work and this lady said that Trump had been shot.  I think she had a friend at the rally and wasn’t sure what all was going on.  It was a few minutes before I was able to get to my phone and check the news.  I saw that the bullet had “grazed his ear,” and the first reports I saw listed two dead, and I thought it said as well as the shooter, so I thought three people were dead.  I don’t know if it was just confusion on the developing story, of if I misread the report.

Now, I’m not a fan of Trump, but I don’t want him shot.  For one, I don’t want to make a martyr of the asshole, and two, he deserves to spend the rest of his miserable life locked up in prison.  And three, political assassinations should have no part in a democracy.  Although, I will admit, there were times back in 2016-2020 where I could start to see the appeal.  So I was happy that Trump wasn’t severely wounded, and saddened that three (really two) people were dead.  We’ll probably never know what troubles that kid had, but that wasn’t the way to go about fixing them.

Once I knew Trump was still among the living, I realized my job would become agonizing.  Because I expected all the magats would come out of the woodwork.  A couple years ago, someone had stickers made of Biden saying, “I did that,” and put them on the gas pumps at one of the stations down the street from where I work.  I know this, because some guy found that so goddamned funny, that he took a photo of them, and then had to show that photo to a complete stranger working at a different store.  I could have explained that the President has no control over the price of gas and high gas prices are the results of greedy oil assholes, but what are facts and reason to a Trump supporter?  So after the assassination attempt I expected a constant barrage of MAGA hats and conspiracy theories.  Like the one semi-regular customer who said that the fires in Hawaii a year or two ago were “obviously” caused by an energy weapon as some kind of false flag to convince people climate change was real.  Fortunately, I haven’t seen that guy in like two months, so I thankfully don’t know his thoughts on all of this.

But none of that happened.  I only work Saturdays and Sundays, and I counted the number of Trump hats/shirts I saw.  I didn’t keep track before July 13th, but I would guess I saw one or two each weekend.  And that’s how many I’ve seen each weekend since.  And except for a neighbor putting up a Trump flag, I haven’t seen any new yard signs on my drive to work.  And given how many customers feel the need to talk my ear off about anything, I’ve surprising not heard anyone say anything.  I thought maybe on the 13th, people hadn’t heard about it yet, but I figured it would be nonstop talk on the 14th, but it was if it never happened.

And that’s why I wonder if this is an encouraging sign.  Perhaps the Trump fever has finally broken, and there are just the few, isolated cases of foam-at-the-mouth MAGAtism.  Don’t get me wrong, most of my customers will still vote for Trump in November, because for decades they’ve been told “Republican good, Democrat bad,” and that’s about the extent of their political thinking.  So they’ll still vote for Trump, but they won’t be as excited about it as they were in 2016, or 2020.  Which, while small, is still a step in the right direction.