“A Line in the Sand”
The video began with a
woman of uncertain ancestry in her forties standing on a beach in the shade of
some palm trees. The rustling of the
fronds drowned out whatever sound came from the gentle waves. The woman smiled and began in clear English,
but with a bit of a French accent, “My name is Neti Bolak, and I am the
President of Tuz. We are a small nation
consisting of a dozen atolls about halfway between Hawaii and The
Philippines. Our economy runs on
tourists visiting for our wonderful beaches,” here she indicated the beach
behind her, “as well as our clear waters with several sites for snorkeling and
scuba diving. The other main contributor
to our economy is the small United States Naval Base located on our northern
most atoll. Many in America have
probably never heard of our country until last week when President Trump in an,
arguably, rambling post, stated that America should ‘take over’ my nation.
“Since then, we have used
all of our diplomatic means to discover why he would say such a thing and to
ask for an apology. The most common
answer we received was that it was just a joke.” President Bolak paused for a
moment. “Threatening to invade my nation
when you had promised to protect us and possibly killing scores or hundreds of
my civilians. I’m sorry, what is the
joke?
“The other reason given
for his statement was that it was just ‘a negotiating tactic.’ This is where
you make an unreasonable demand, knowing that after several rounds of
compromise, you’ll end up with what you really wanted, without having to give
up anything. But negotiations over
what? Yes, there were some difficulties
between our citizens and the American military in the past, but things have
been mutually beneficial between us for the last couple of decades. So why threated to invade our nation as a
negotiation tactic when, as far as I knew, we had no issues being negotiated?”
Standing taller,
President Bolak stated, “Our country has been threatened, and our reasonable
demands for an apology have been ignored.
That is why I am now giving President Trump an ultimatum. You have twenty-four hours from the posting
of this video to make a video apology to my nation. If you do not do that, then we will demand
the United States military to leave our territory.”
Shrugging, President
Bolak continued, “We are not asking for much.
And I want the peoples of America and the world to know that Tuz has no
quarrel with any of them. All that is
necessary to end this minor diplomatic fracas, is for one man to set his ego
aside and admit he was wrong. That is
all we are asking for.
“Now some will point out
that I said the United States military was a major contributor to our economy,
so why would I risk damaging my country’s economy? Well, if we are forced to kick out the
Americans, maybe the Chinese could use a naval base. And perhaps be better guests.”
With a bitter smile,
President Bolak finished, “For those saying I’m being overly dramatic, don’t
worry, it’s just a negotiating tactic.”
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