Short story – “You Didn’t Pray Hard Enough”

“You Didn’t Pray Hard Enough”

An older man walked alone down a sidewalk.  Two young women – one recording everything with her phone – ran after him.  “Reverend Williams,” the one not recording called out.

The Reverend stopped and turned.  “Yes?”

The two women ran up and stopped before him.  “Reverend Williams.  My name is Ashley Carter and this is my sister Tina.”

Tina waved with the hand not holding her phone and said, “Hi.”

“We drove all the way from Kansas to see you,” Ashley explained.

“Oh?”

“We want to talk to you about what you said concerning the tragedy in Hays.”

The Reverend glanced around the sidewalk and said, “My dear lady, this is neither the time nor place to discuss theological issues.”

“This won’t take long,” Ashley said, “because in thirty seconds, I’m going to slap you.” She then held her phone up and started a countdown timer.

“What?”

“In … twenty-five seconds, I’m going to slap you.  Unless you pray to have God stop me.”

“That is absurd.”

“According to you, Reverend, if the people of Hays had prayed more, God would have stopped that tornado from destroying the town.  So surely God can stop a young girl from slapping someone.”

“Young lady, this is foolish.”

“All that gibber-gabber and you should be praying.”

“This is ridiculous.” The Reverend started walking away.

“Is your faith in God so weak you won’t even face a simple challenge?”

The Reverend turned back.  “Young lady,” he shouted.  “One does not challenge God to prove His power.”

“So you admit, telling people they can ‘Pray away a tornado’ was stupid advice.  So why say it?  Five, four, three, two, one.” Less hard than she could – but hard enough to be felt – Ashley slapped the Reverend’s face.

The Reverend staggered back a step.

Ashley stepped close and lowered her voice.  “If you had any decency, you would sell all the trinkets in your church and give the money to those in need in Hays.  You would then go and beg forgiveness from them for your idiotic, offensive, repugnant, dickish comments.  If you had any decency.”

***

I first wrote this story seven years ago (you can still read the original version here) after some evangelical asshat basically blamed the victims of a tornado for not praying enough.  And I figured that since there are a lot of evangelical asshats today saying stuff like you don’t need to wear a mask, just pray, I figured it was time to bring it back.