Monday, October 19, 2020

Not as the Founders intended

Every now and then someone will, while trying to make some point on a political matter, say that the thing they oppose “wasn’t how the Founders intended.” And the thing I’ve come to realize over the years is that if you’re arguing with someone and they pull that out, it means you’ve won.  They have no argument for their position so they are just playing the “Founders Intention Card” in the hopes that will shut you up. 

I think the best way to fully explain this, is something I do as a writer.  To explore some ideas – or sometimes just to pass the time – I’ll try to imagine what I would do if some historical figure showed up at my door.  After being weirded out for a bit, I’d show JFK the Apollo 11 landing, I’d show MLK the Obama inauguration, and since I couldn’t think of anything special to show some other initialed person I’d show Einstein the reports of the detection of gravitational waves.  But should I tell JFK about RFK?  Or MLK about BLM?  What’s the point of any of this, you ask.  Well, having imaginary conversations with long dead historical figures is good practice for having imaginary conversations with fictitious people.  And since I’m a writer, it’s perfectly fine for me to do that. 

A subset of this idea is where the historical person can’t interact with the modern world.  Their spirit, ghost, essence, whatever, is just floating over your shoulder seeing what you see but unable to ask for any clarification.  Someone like Caesar would have no clue what was going on, whereas someone like Ben Franklin would at least understand most of the language.  This can be useful to a writer trying to get into the head of a character ending up on an alien world.

Now let’s imagine the spirits of all the Founding Fathers showed up over my shoulder while I drove to work.  What would they experience?  After the shock wore off, they would be amazed to be traveling without any horses.  If Franklin figured out the speedometer they’d probably be terrified of going the unheard of speed of fifty miles an hour.  Then there would be this odd music, but without any sign of musician or instrument.  And if it was a good song that I repeated, they’d be shocked to hear the exact same thing again.

On my way to work I’d stop at a store with these weird outside stalls.  I’d then use a stiff card to somehow buy so many gallons of this stuff called gasoline that would amount to an absurd amount of like $30.  Some of them probably didn’t pay as much for a slave.

Then I get to work and they’d see that some of my superiors are – gasp – women who – double gasp – wear trousers.  And after a few hours of work – after handling such unexplainable items like extension cords and Pop-Tarts – I’d take my lunch break.  I’d take something out of an ice box – that doesn’t have ice in it – and stick it another box that hums for a few minutes and that somehow makes my meal hot.  I’d eat with a fork that’s as clear as glass but doesn’t shatter.  Something that amazing they’d probably keep as a family heirloom, but which I just throw away once I’m done with it.

Pretty much anything we do today would be astounding to the Founding Fathers.  They would write letters and then put them on a boat and sail them to Europe.  Some months later, they might get a reply.  Now imagine them watching someone pull a thing out of their pocket to “call” someone in Japan just to wish them a happy birthday.  That would completely blow their minds.  Our world would be almost incomprehensible to them.  Which is why “that’s not what the Founders intended” is a losing play in an argument. 

The Founding Fathers were some of the brightest minds of the Eighteenth Century.  But we live in the Twenty-first.  They didn’t have indoor plumbing, but we should follow their intentions in regards to things like cyberterrorism?  I’m not saying we should scrap everything of theirs, but we should examine everything to make sure it is still relevant.  I mean, the Founders weren’t perfect.  They didn’t intend for blacks or women to vote and only certain types of people want to go back to that. 

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