“Going in a New Direction”
Breaking News – January 6, 2038
Elon Musk reportedly dies
onboard Mars-bound Starship.
We here at Melete.com are
still awaiting confirmation, but reputable sources have reported that the
controversial businessman died earlier today in what was described as a “freak
airlock accident.” Musk was onboard his flagship Maye leading a group of settlers
to begin the colonization of Mars. The
ninety settlers – onboard six Starships – are two-thirds of the way to
Mars.
If confirmed, it is
unsure how his death will affect the mission.
Just yesterday, in a cost cutting move, Musk had fired all the engineers
on the mission….
***
First off, I’m not advocating any violence towards Elon Musk. I hope he dies of natural causes, alone and bitter in whatever retirement home his kids stick him in.
The idea for this came when I saw someone’s post along the lines of Musk’s erratic management of Twitter is just the kind of “stable genius” leadership needed to colonize a new planet. I wanted to reply that he’d probably fire all the engineers halfway to Mars, and this story was born. I typed it up and was thinking of posting it, but then between “assassination coordinates” and Christmas, I figured I’d wait a few weeks.
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