This story was published
in September 2012 as part of my collection Political Pies, after an earlier
version was posted on a friend’s website in August 2006. In my collections, I include a little blurb
after each story to give its history or to give some comment on it. I’m posting it here, along with the blurb,
because I – unfortunately – turned out to be prophetic.
“Star-Spangled Ploy”
Slamming his fist on his podium, Senator Conant exclaimed, “And that is why I voted for a Constitutional Amendment to ban flag burning.”
This was met with uneven
applause from the packed auditorium.
“Thank you, Senator
Conant.” The Moderator then turned her head slightly towards the Senator’s
opponent. “Mister Drake, same question.”
Drake smiled. “I agree with the Senator that it is a
shame,” his hand slapped his podium, “that we can’t send our kids outside
without a burning flag being crammed down their throats. I believe ….” He pointed at the audience,
then brought his finger to his lips and tapped it a few times. “I believe I’ve never actually seen a flag
being burnt, other than on TV when foreigners – outside US jurisdiction – were
protesting America. Have you, Senator?”
Without waiting for an answer, he looked to the audience. “Has anyone here?” After a slight pause he
asked, “Yet how many of you are struggling with obscenely high energy bills?”
Drake raised his hand, which was joined by scores more.
Drake took a deep
breath. “For those of you pained by the
thought of a flag being burned, I understand and respect your sentiment. But amending the Constitution to ban flag burning
is not the solution. If anything, it
will make matters worse.”
Holding his hand out, as
if to silence any remarks, Drake said, “Let me explain. A few flags are burned each year in this
country in protest. I repeat, a few. Very few.
I don’t have the exact number, but I would bet it is less than a
hundred. Now, if this amendment passed,
a date will have to be set for when the law takes effect, say January 1st. Do you know what would happen on December
31st? Thousands, tens of thousands of
Americans would gather in Washington, D.C. and in cities large and small across
the nation. And just before the stroke
of midnight, they would light thousands upon thousands of flags on fire. Your options are to either know that a
hundred flags are burned each year, or watch as thousands are burned before
your eyes. And it would not end once
January 1st came. People will take
pieces of cardboard, draw a flag on it, and burn that. Unless the ban is Draconian in its
description of what constitutes an American flag, such an act would be
perfectly legal. And I suspect that
people will line up before the White House, and the Supreme Court, and in
thousands of other places and burn these cardboard flags day after day after
day until the Amendment is repealed.” Drake shrugged. “The simple truth, a Constitutional Amendment
banning flag burning will only result in hundreds of thousands of flags and
flag-like objects being burned.
Period. That’s the only thing
that will happen.”
Drake jabbed his podium
with his finger. “Now, of all the
problems facing America today, flag burning is number 3,714. Call me crazy, but I think the first 3,713
problems are far more important.
Problems such as: Social Security, health care, national security,
education, immigration, gas prices, crime, incompetent leadership, the deficit,
the environment, unemployment, racial tensions, rogue nations, poverty,
decaying infrastructure, bigotry, foreign and domestic terrorism, drug abuse,
invasions of privacy … I could go on and on.
“You may ask, given all
these problems, why is flag burning such a big issue? Well, I have a theory. I believe flag burning is a ploy being used
by certain elected officials to mask the fact that they,” Drake looked directly
at Conant, “have accomplished nothing.” Drake pointed at a random
audience member, “Nothing for you.” Pointing at more people he continued, “Or
you, or you, or your child who can’t afford to go to college, or your
grandfather who has to go to Canada to get his medication, or your wife whose
job was outsourced, or all of us when we pay an arm and a leg at the gas pump.”
Pounding his fist on his
podium, Drake raised his voice, “We have wasted enough time on this
diversion. Let’s get back to the real
problems of America: yours!”
The auditorium shook from
the applause.
***
I wrote this back when,
once again, a flag burning amendment was being talked about and voted on. I wanted to slap Congress. Seriously, with everything that was going on,
why was that an issue? I understand that
it can be an emotional issue for some people, but there are thousands of more
serious problems out there that don’t get as much attention as flag burning. I included this story in this collection
because – I’m sure – at some point in the future the issue will crop up again
when some do-nothing politician needs to scare up some votes.
Image from Pixabay.
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