The Uncapped Pen, at last!

 

Over a decade ago, I had the idea of putting together a collection of stories dealing with writing: authors arguing with their muse, or struggling with having too many ideas, or too few, or whatever.  But for reasons, I set it aside, until a few years ago when I figured I’d finish it.  Well, it took longer than expected, and just as I was about to put the final polish on, there was a writer’s strike.  While I’m not a member of the Writers Guild of America, it felt wrong to publish a book about writing during their strike.  But since the strike is over, I’ve now published The Uncapped Pen.  You can find it on Kindle for $3.99, or equivalent.

My new story collection is out!

I’ve finally published my “Seventh Story Stockpile!” The reason I seem so excited is that I’ve been meaning to have this out for … about a year.  My plan had been to have it out last summer, but I ran into a few issues.  For example, some stories I had planned to include I couldn’t figure out how to end and had to replace.  But the main problem was trying to handle forty different projects, trying to help my parents around the farm, trying to have some me time, and working a practically full-time job that I didn’t want but needed the money.  I’d work on SSS for a bit, than set it aside to watch a movie or go to work, and the next thing I’d know it would be two months later.  I’d work on it some more, and then go to bed and the next thing I’d know it would two months later.

But now it’s finally here.  I know I should be trying to wow you on the stories you’ll find inside, but now I’m still a bit shocked that I finally forced myself to get it out.  I want to take a break, maybe catch up on my reading and some movies, but my next big project – another story collection titled “Travels Beyond Imagination” – is standing behind me annoyingly clearing its throat.

An Ounce of Prevention

Several years ago, I finished my story “An Ounce of Prevention” about a being from the distant future who comes back to nudge humanity onto a better path with the help of a present day schlub.  At the time I was just getting into self-publishing and I didn’t know which ereader would be best, Kindle or Nook.  So I published some stories on Kindle, and “An Ounce of Prevention” on Nook.  I sold a couple copies, but it soon became clear that Kindle was the better option.  I kept “An Ounce of Prevention” on it just in case someone noticed it there, but also because I was too lazy to change it.  Eventually, last year I took it down, waited a few months, then revised the story.  Last week I then republished it for Kindle.

  

Here’s an excerpt:

Jason took a step back, and collapsed into his beanbag chair. For ten or fifteen seconds he just stared at the woman. Shaking his head, he asked, “Do you have a name?”

“You lack the organs to ‘speak’ let alone ‘hear’ my name.”

“Then what do I call you?”

The woman frowned. “Does it matter?”

Jason thought for a moment. Finally, he said, “I think I’m either okay with or just ignoring the fact that you’re not … human. But I think not having a name to call you bothers me on a … primal level, maybe, something.” He finished with a mumbled, “I don’t know.”

The woman nodded. “What would you like to call me?”

Jason looked over at his bookcase and on the second shelf down a tome by Tolstoy caught his attention. “Anna?” he asked.

“Anna it is.”

“Okay … Anna. Sit down.”

She moved some books off a chair and sat down facing him. For a second he was engrossed by her legs. He shook his head and looked back to her face. “Uh, do you want me to … take you to my leader?”

“If I wished to speak to your President, I would just walk into the White House.”

“The Secret Service would probably stop you.”

“They would fail.”

A shiver ran down Jason’s back. He sat up straight and asked, “Why have you come to me?”

“I believe you may be of some service to my mission.”

“Which is?”

“The salvation of the universe.”

It was several attempts before Jason could speak his question, “I could save the universe?”

Anna shook her head. “No. I could wipe out your species and the universe would not notice. My mission is to try to save several million insignificant species in the hope that collectively you’ll make a difference.”

#

If that sounds at all interesting, I hope you’ll check it out.

“Relics”

“Relics” is my new Kindle ebook that’s available for $0.99.  Below is the blurb for it.

A plague that kills men has devastated the world’s population.  Only a few thousand boys and men were able to be quarantined.  But Mike Shay is the only man known to have a natural immunity to the plague.  Therefore, he is practically the only man in a world of women.  He spends his days reading, playing video games, and making the occasional sperm donation.  Then Dr. Veronica Barrett shows up, disrupting what passes for his life.  She says she’s there to investigate his “mental wellbeing,” but is there more to her visit?

Instead of the normal, adolescent, heterosexual male fantasy of being the only guy on a planet of women, “Relics” tries to give a more realistic view of Mike’s life.

Excerpt from “Relics.”

Zombie Zlayer 6 was your standard running through a zombie wasteland looking for supplies and survivors while blowing the heads off all the zombies you came across.  As he shotgunned a group of zombies, someone knocked.  Max raised his head and looked at the door, but Mike continued shooting until all the zombies were “fully” dead.  Then he paused the game and called out, “Come in.”

A woman he’d never seen before walked into the room.

For several seconds she stood in the doorway, letting him look at her.  He guessed she was about thirty.  She had fair-sized breasts, light brown hair hanging to her waist, and wore a simple green blouse with jeans. 

Part of Mike thought her beautiful, but that was quickly drowned out by the cynical part of his mind that suspected her purpose in being there.  He set his jaw and turned back to the game.

“Mister Shay-”

“We had a deal.” Mike unpaused the game and went looking for more zombies.

The woman walked into the room, stopping by Max.  She held her hand out.  “Mister Shay, my name is Doctor Veronica Barrett.”

Ignoring her hand, Mike stated, “I already have a doctor.”

Veronica smiled and let her hand drop.  “Yes, but not a psychologist.  The Council sent me because they have become worried about your mental and emotional health.”

Mike sipped his beer.  “I’m a guy.  I’ll live.”

“Mister Shay, of the 7,645 males known to have survived the plague, you are the only one with a natural immunity.  It is of vital importance we preserve your genetic legacy, and as such the Council gave in to your original demands.  But things have changed in the past three years and the Council has decided to take another look at your arrangement.”

“Well, I like the arrangement the way it is.  Go away.”

Veronica knelt down and began petting Max.  “Mister Shay, given what is reported of your lifestyle,” she paused to nod towards the almost-empty beer bottle, “many on the Council have become concerned about your wellbeing.  They sent me to study matters and to offer suggestions for any warranted improvements.”

Mike found a cache of shotgun shells and loaded up.  “I have a suggestion.  Leave me alone.”

Veronica sighed and stood.  “It wasn’t easy for me to come here, you know.  Only a handful know your true location, and they made me sign a dozen secrecy forms.  I almost wasn’t allowed to visit you when a background check revealed that a second cousin I haven’t seen in over a decade is a member of an Amazon cult.”

Mike furrowed his brow for a moment, then saw a zombie.  Once it no longer had a head, he paused the game again.  He turned to Veronica and said, “Out of over three-and-a-half billion males on the planet, only 7,644 babies and boys – and a few men – were saved by quarantining them.  Once the lunar base is built, they’ll be shipped up there to start a new branch of humanity living in space, away from the plague.  Then there’s me.  Alive and well, with no fear of the plague.  And in a few generations, most of the people on Earth will be my descendants.”

***

I will warn you that this story does contain some profanity and sexual situations, so mature audiences only.