An idea for flag burners

 

Twenty-some years ago, I wrote a couple of stories about how stupid it was to try to ban flag burning.  At the time, there were people trying to make an Amendment to ban it, but after some time the issue kind of died away because anyone with half-a-braincell knows there are 8,000 other, more important problems facing America.  That’s how things stood until Dipshit signed an Executive Order. 

I figured I should dig those stories out and post them, and that’s what I did with “Star-Spangled Ploy.” But the other story, I read through it for the first time in over a decade, and realized it had some problems.  Basically, it was written with only the most basic legal knowledge gleaned from TV and movies.  Reading through it now, I was like, “The judge wouldn’t allow that,” and, “Oh, all of that would be revealed in discovery.” So instead of trying to rewrite the story to be more realistic, I figured I’d just post the idea.  If you do try this, just know, THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE.

The story was about a guy who burns a “flag” on the steps of the Supreme Court and is arrested.  But at his trial, he produces two pieces of evidence.  The first is a receipt from a custom flags company for two, not real American flags with fourteen stripes and fifty-one stars.  The second piece of evidence is one of these “flags.” The point being that the state could not prove that the item he burned was an actual American flag and not one of these fake “flags.”

I’m sure a real lawyer could find holes in this approach, so again, THIS IS NOT LEGAL ADVICE.

***

Image from Pixabay.

Short story – “The Fall”

“The Fall”

When Alan opened the door of his apartment, he saw his partner Sam on the couch petting their dog. “Did you hear the news?  The jury just convicted Mayor Becker of rape.”

“That’s not surprising,” Sam replied.

Taking off his coat, Alan said, “I guess that’s the end of his reelection campaign.”

“Not necessarily,” Sam replied.  “There are a lot of voters who support his economic policies.” After a second, they added, “And those people are assholes.”

Alan wiped imaginary sweat from his brow.  “Glad you finished that.  Otherwise, you and Buster would’ve had to find a new place to live.”

Sam put a protective arm around Buster and kissed him on the head.  They then leaned close and whispered, “You have my permission to bite him.”

“What was that?”

“Nothing.”

***

I wrote this because only a society that’s falling would let a sexual predator retain political power.

Small acts of resistance

A couple months ago, I found an interesting message at work.  Since then, I’ve been trying to think of other, small acts of resistance anyone could do.  We’d like to think that a few big acts will turn everything around, but it doesn’t work that way.  It will take a few big acts, untold thousands of medium acts, and millions of small acts. 

Big acts are things like organizing multistate protests, or running for office to replace a Trump supporter with someone who actually cares for America, or building a secret entrance so you can hide a family in your attic.  Not many people can do those things. 

Medium acts would be organizing local protests, or making YouTube videos documenting the crimes of ICE, or giving money to worthy groups and candidates.  While there are more people who can do such things, it’s still out of reach for many.

So here are some of the simple, small acts of resistance I’ve thought of.  The first is to find some YouTube video showing the crimes of ICE.  Make a QR code for this video, print it out and tape it to the ice machines most convenience stores have. 

I recently discovered that one of the local news stations has polls on their website.  It’s not every day, more of if there’s a big news story they’ll put up a poll about it.  Living in a deep red part of the state, it’s depressing to see like 50% thought Trump should get the Nobel Peace Prize, but also 90% want the Epstein Files released.  And while my logical and realistic vote won’t change things, I do think it’s important to show the magats that not everyone agrees with them.

If you have a pen and a dollar bill, you can make a speech bubble of George Washington saying, “No Kings!” Or you can leave a message, such as Leviticus 19:34.  If someone who gets that bill is curious they’ll look it up to find, “The foreigner residing among you must be treated as your native-born. Love them as yourself, for you were foreigners in Egypt. I am the Lord your God.”

Start a garden, or start buying from a local farmers market, especially if you normally buy from a store that spends millions to bribe politicians.  The added benefit is it’s also better for the environment.  If you don’t have a yard, or even a balcony, maybe just get one of those herb things you can have on the counter. 

And my final idea for a small act of resistance is to just be a good person living as happy a life as you can.  Crank your favorite song, repost that silly cat video, or stop kinda flirting with that person and just ask them out.  The war to turn America around will take many, many years, and the hardest thing to maintain during long wars is morale.  Do what you can to keep yours up.

A new Constitution? Part 1?

Twenty some years ago, I had an idea for what became my Human Republic Universe.  I started writing stories set in this universe to flesh things out, as well as practice for the main thing, a TV series.  But I didn’t get too far, and other projects came up, and life, and stuff, so I haven’t done much in this universe for the last decade or so.  But that might change.

Anyway, the basic idea for my Human Republic Universe is that after World War I, the Leage of Nations was created, which failed to stop World War II.  After which, the United Nations was created, which also failed.  Now, World War III has been overused and has certain connotations, so my thing was that the UN failed to stop The Conflagration.  This was marked by a series of terrorist attacks, as well as numerous small to minor border wars.  And at one point, the US President does something – because America is always right – that really sours our relationships with some of our closest allies.

Anyway.

The Human Republic was to be this weak, planetary government.  Basically, it was to only deal with matters between the Member Nations and any interactions between them and any Non-Member Nations.  To become a Member Nation, you had to meet some requirements, like a democratic form of government open to all your citizens, as well as some basic rights like speech and religion.  And the citizens had to vote to join.  Any issue within a Member Nation would be handled by their government, with limited if any oversight from the Human Republic. 

At some point, I thought it would be interesting if I wrote up the Constitution of the Human Republic.  I figured I could start with the US Constitution, clear out all the racist shit, make some corrections, and have something – at least – I could start with.  But have you ever read the Constitution?  There’s old-timey words and spellings, as well as things that really should be fixed.  So I never got far writing the Constitution of the Human Republic.

It was probably that experience that gave me the idea of updating the Constitution.  Basically, just cleaning out the junk, updating the terminology, and adding the Amendments in to where they should go.  This was just a random idea I had that I never put much thought into.  Then that treasonous shitweasel won. 

A couple weeks later – once the initial horror and disgust had passed – I started thinking about a new Constitution again.  What I was thinking, is that at some point Trump will do something clearly and unmistakenly unconstitutional, and his bootlicks in Congress and the Courts won’t do anything.  (Apparently, they’ll just cheer so he can go on and do even more clearly and unmistakenly unconstitutional things.)  At some point, I imagine some Governor will announce that since the Constitution is no longer being followed, it means that the United States no longer exists.  They won’t succeed from the US, the US will just dissolve.  So I started writing a New Constitution for a New United States.  This would form – hopefully without bloodshed – from the old states, or from slightly changed new states. 

Turns out, this is harder than I expected.  For one, it’s difficult to balance putting in exact details for some issue, but leaving it flexible enough to handle future events I can’t imagine.  Or, there are some clearly good ideas – like Presidents not having immunity – that quickly get bogged down trying to figure out how to implement them.  Like if Presidents don’t have immunity, would that just open the floodgates of their opponents filing frivolous lawsuits to waste their time?  What’s the best way to handle all this?  I don’t know.  Somebody smarter than me will have to figure that out.

So here’s the first part of my New Constitution.  It gives some idea of where I’m going with things.  If people find this interesting, maybe I’ll try to finish it.  And if you have any suggestions, or want to point out some flaw, please do.  Maybe, just maybe, someone might take this as a rough draft for a real New Constitution.  Who knows.

***

We the People of the United States, in order to form a more perfect Union, establish justice, ensure domestic tranquility, provide for the common defense, promote the general welfare, and secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

 

Article I

Section I

This Constitution is a contract between the American people and the Government that serves them.  While not perfect, its heart is what many consider the essence of America: striving to be better.

 

Section II

All persons residing within a State at the time that State ratifies this Constitution, is a Citizen of that State and therefore of the United States.

All children born within the territory of the United States, will be Citizens of the United States. 

All children with at least one biological parent that is a Citizen, will be a Citizen of the United States even if born outside the territory of the United States.  Any dual citizenship status the child will have will depend upon the laws of wherever they are born.

All residents of a Non-State Territory that the United States claims, will be Citizens of the United States.  Every ten years, the Voters of Non-State Territories shall vote on whether to maintain the status quo, to become a State, to join an existing State, or to become independent of the United States. 

Any non-citizen who enters the territory of the United States at a legal entry point, may request to become a Citizen.  The exact process of becoming a Citizen will be set by Congress with reasonable stipulations.

Every adult Citizen has the right to renounce their citizenship.

Congress by a two-thirds vote in both chambers, may – for specific reasons – limit immigration from a region or country for a period of no more than one year.

For heinous acts, Congress by a two-thirds vote in both chambers, may strip a Citizen of their citizenship.  Bills to do this will apply only to an individual and may not be combined with any other bill.

 

Section III

All United States Citizens, regardless of where they live, upon reaching eighteen years of age, are Voters.  The right of a Citizen to be a Voter may not be infringed or removed for any reason.

 

Article II

Section I

All legislative powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a House of Representatives and a Senate.

 

Section II

The House of Representatives shall be composed of members chosen every two years by the Voters of their State.  Each Representative shall have one vote.  No person shall be a Representative who – at the time of the election – hasn’t attained the age of twenty-five years, been seven years a Citizen of the United States, or spends less than nine months each year living in that State or Territory.  Representatives shall be limited to serving at most five terms from one, or many States or Territories.  

For the first four scheduled elections after a State ratifies this Constitution, being a Citizen of the State shall suffice for the citizenship requirement.

To determine the numbers of Representatives each State shall have, a census counting the total population of the United States shall be taken every ten years.  The State with the lowest population of Citizens will be taken as a Base Unit.  The population of Citizens each State has will then be divided by this Base Unit, and the resulting number – after rounding – will be the number of Representative for that State.

Regardless of their population, Non-State Territories of the United States shall only have one Representative.  This Representative shall be treated exactly as a Representative from a State.

Regardless of their number, all Voters who do not live within a State or Territory of the United States, shall choose one Representative.  This Representative shall be treated exactly as a Representative from a State.

The Voters of a State, Non-State Territory, or foreign residents may – by collecting a number of signatures in excess of 15% of the total votes in the most recent election – force a recall election of a Representative.  The result of such an election will go into effect when the election results are confirmed.

In the event of the death, resignation, recall, or impeachment of a Representative, the Governor of their State or Non-State Territory may appoint a Representative whose term may not exceed ninety days.  The office of a Representative may not be left empty for a period exceeding sixty days.  If a regularly scheduled election is not set to happen within one hundred and fifty days of the death, resignation, recall, or impeachment of a Representative, then a special election must be held to permanently replace the Representative for the remainder of the original term.  For outstanding circumstances, these restrictions may be altered for a seat by a majority vote in the House of Representatives. 

Appointed Representatives, or specially elected Representatives whose terms are less than six months, will not have that time count towards any term limits. 

If the next regularly scheduled election after a State ratifies this Constitution is more than one hundred and fifty days away, then the office will be filled in a similar manner.  The number of Representatives will be determined from the best available data until the next census.

With input from the Senate as well as the Executive and Judicial branches, The House of Representatives shall create a Code of Conduct/Ethics that will apply to all elected members of the government as well as members approved by the Senate.  This Code will be periodically updated.  Breaking of this Code by any member will be grounds for Impeachment. 

The House of Representatives shall choose their Speaker and other Officers; and shall have the sole power of Impeachment.

 

Section III

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Voters of that State, for a term of six years.  Each Senator shall have one vote.  No person shall be a Senator who – at the time of the election – hasn’t attained to the age of thirty years, been seven years a Citizen of the United States, or spends less than nine months each year living in that State or Territory.  Senators shall be limited to serving at most two terms from one, or two States, and or Territories.

For the first four scheduled elections after a State ratifies this Constitution, being a Citizen of the State shall suffice for the citizenship requirement.

In the first regularly scheduled election after a State ratifies this Constitution, each elected Senator shall randomly select if their term will be two, four, or six years in length.  This way, roughly one third of the Senate shall be elected every two years.  The two Senators from a State must be on different schedules.  Abridged terms of two or four years will count as a term in regards to term limits.

Non-State Territories of the United States shall only have one Senator.  This Senator shall be treated exactly as a Senator from a State.  In the first regularly scheduled election after a Territory is claimed, the elected Senator shall randomly select if their term will be two, four, or six years in length.

Regardless of their number, all Voters who do not live within a State or Territory of the United States, shall choose one Senator.  This Senator shall be treated exactly as a Senator from a State.  In the first regularly scheduled election after this Constitution is ratified, the elected foreign resident Senator shall randomly select if their term will be two, four, or six years in length.

The Voters of a State, Non-State Territory, or foreign residents may – by collecting a number of signatures in excess of 15% of the total votes in the most recent election – force a recall election of a Senator.  The result of such an election will go into effect when the election results are confirmed.

In the event of the death, resignation, recall, or impeachment of a Senator, the Governor of their State or Non-State Territory may appoint a Senator whose term may not exceed ninety days.  The office of a Senator may not be left empty for a period exceeding sixty days.  If a regularly scheduled election is not set to happen within one hundred and fifty days of the death, resignation, recall, or impeachment of a Senator, then a special election will be held to permanently replace the Senator for the remainder of the original term.  For outstanding circumstances, these restrictions may be altered for a seat by a majority vote in the Senate. 

Appointed Senators, or specially elected Senators whose terms are less than six months, will not have that time count towards any term limits.

If the next regularly scheduled election after a State ratifies this Constitution is more than one hundred and fifty days away, then the office will be filled in a similar manner. 

The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no vote, unless they be equally divided.

The Senate shall choose their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore to serve in the absence of the Vice President, or when they shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

The Senate shall have the sole power to try all Impeachments.  If the President or Vice President are on trial, the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court shall preside.  All other trials will be presided by the Vice President.  No person shall be convicted without a two-thirds vote.

Judgment in cases of Impeachment shall not extend further than removal from office, and disqualification to hold and enjoy any office of honor, trust or profit under the United States.  The judgment of an Impeachment trial may be used as evidence in a civil court.

 

***

And I’ll end it here, because after this it gets into the minutia of Congress’s power which is a bit of a headache.  But if there’s enough interest, I’ll work on it.  Well, I’ll probably work on it anyway and post it in six months.  We’ll see.

What I hope happens to Musk and Trump

To try to post more blogs, I made a schedule I try to keep to.  Like, on the first Tuesday of the month I try to post a “Whatever I want to talk about” blog.  When I saw that the first Tuesday of April was on the first, I wondered if I should do a themed post.  But our country is currently being destroyed by fools, so I wasn’t in the mood.  But it did lead me to this post.

In the last few months, I’ve written a few stories about Musk and Trump.  (I even made a page that lists all of them.)  A few of them are actually about one or the other being assassinated.  Given how things are going, in a few months they will probably be grounds for me being sent to a gulag.  I was thinking I should do a post about why I don’t want either of those assholes assassinated, just to make my position clear.  And figured this was as good a day as any to post it.

What I hope happens to Musk

I do not want Musk to be assassinated.  Ideally, he should be investigated and if – as is a near certainty – he’s committed any crimes, he should be tried.  And if convicted – as he probably would be in a fair trial – he should rot in prison.  But since that is unlikely, my hope is that whichever of his kids is stuck with him, just puts him in a rundown retirement home.  Hopefully, most of the staff are black, and his neighbor incessantly talks about their favorite granddaughter, who used to be their favorite grandson.

What I hope happens to Trump

Trump belongs in prison.  Period.  The fact that he isn’t, let alone that he is destroying the country from the Oval Office is an utter failure of our justice system.  The only way to repair the system would be to remove him and all his cult assholes from the government, hold the Mar-a-Largo Trials (like the Nuremberg Trials) and throw most of them in prison.  But since that is unlikely ….

Ten years ago, if you had asked me if assassinations should play any part in a functioning democracy, I would have said, “Absolutely not!” But I think it was 2018, or 2019, when I caught myself thinking that, “Assassinations shouldn’t play any part in a functioning democracy, but I’m starting to see the appeal.” Just to be clear, I am not planning the assassination of anyone, let alone Trump.  I also have no knowledge of any assassination plans.  I don’t want to know of any assassination plans.

But the system has failed.  Repeatedly and horribly.  Which raises the question, do we need to go outside the system?  I don’t want Trump assassinated, but I feel that is his likely fate.  If he is assassinated, I’d say there’s a one-third chance it’s by someone on the left for a multitude of reasons.  There’s probably another one-third chance it’s by someone on the right whose kid was needlessly killed in some pointless, bullshit invasion of Panama, or Greenland, or wherever.  And there’s a one-third chance he’s assassinated by the dark powers tired of putting up with his shit.  And then Vance – who they can handle better – can blame transgender, immigrant, Tesla-haters or whoever so they can forge their Crap World Order. 

The only real negative of Trump being assassinated is the damage his cult will do to avenge their Dear Martyred Leader.  Picture sports hooligans when their team loses the big game times a thousand because it would be across the country instead of limited to one city.  It’s possible they might actually do more damage than a living Trump would. 

The fact that his actions have made me more concerned about what his cult would do if he was assassinated than the horror of a politician being assassinated, is one of the reasons I absolutely hate Trump.  When he dies – however – I will not shed a tear.  But I will not cheer, because I fear it will just be the start of a new battle to save America.

Voter Registration Drive Book Sale!

The other day I saw something about the deadline to register to vote for some special elections is like, next week.  I don’t live anywhere these special elections are happening, so I haven’t paid much attention to them.  But every election is important, especially now.  If you want to vote, you need to be registered.  And who knows what new hoops will be added to the registration process in the coming years.  So if you are an American citizen over eighteen, now’s the time to register.  The information to do so should be on your state’s website, but you can also check out Vote411.  And if you’re already registered, these sites should also let you check your voter status, because while voter lists need to be updated as people move or die, some go overboard.  Any “mistake” found now can be fixed long before the next election, making the election run smoother.

To draw a bit of attention to this, and to give some slight encouragement to register, I’m running a book sale from Monday February 24th, through Friday February 28th.  For that week, four of my ebooks will be free to download on Kindle.  I think it is against the law for someone to offer you something to register to vote, but it’s not like I’m offering you a million dollars to vote.  And it’s only four ebooks from an unknown author just to register.  If I was rich and famous, I’d be doing other things to pull democracy from the jaws of authoritarianism. 

If you’re not an American, you can still grab my ebooks.  I just ask you to participate in your government however you can.  Since America is no longer the leader of the free world, someone else will need to step up.

***

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

Useless Cogs

Useless Cogs is a collection of forty, of my science fiction stories. They range from only a few dozen words to a few thousand and are filled with time travelers, AIs, clones, aliens, even sexbots, although not often as you would imagine. As example, there’s a time traveler that’s always a step behind, an AI that’s late on rent, and a sexbot with bad software. Some of the stories are humorous, some horrifying, and some … depend on your point of view.

The Only Certainty

On The Day, for reasons unknown, people began changing. They went to sleep as their old selves and woke in their beds in different bodies: bodies that had belonged to other people. And each time they fall asleep, they wake in a new body. Set months later, “The Only Certainty” follows Derrick Gorton on an average day in this new world as he deals with food shortages, the semi-collapse of society, and how to finish his latest novel.

The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars

Over the last few years a lot of people have caught Mars fever. It seems a week doesn’t go by without a report of some new group wanting to send people to Mars, or some big name in the industry talking about why we have to go to Mars, or articles talking about the glorious future humanity will have on Mars. All of this worries me. In my opinion, a Mars base is currently not sustainable because there’s no way for it to make money. A few missions may fly doing extraordinary science, but if it’s then cancelled for cost the whole Mars Project may just be seen as an expensive stunt.

Fortunately, there are other places in the solar system besides Mars. While bases on the moon and amongst the asteroids won’t be as inspirational as one on Mars, they will have opportunities for businesses to make goods and services as well as profits, meaning less chance of them being outright cancelled. This will make life better on Earth and secure a firm foothold in space for humanity. The essays in The Moon Before Mars: Why returning to the moon makes more sense than rushing off to Mars allow me to describe my ideas on what can be accomplished on the moon and with the asteroids, and why Mars isn’t the destiny of humanity its cheerleaders make it out to be. 

Political Karens

The idea for this post has been kicking around for … I don’t know how many months.  It started when I saw a post about how some Democrats weren’t planning on voting for Biden because of how he’s handled the whole issue of Gaza.  On one hand, I fully understand the dream of only voting for politicians that fully support the same causes you do.  But on the other hand, I doubt Trump could even find Gaza on a map. 

I know some people get really put off being told they have to support the lesser evil, but where the fuck have they been living the past forty years?  Yes, the system is broken.  Yes, the only thing more antidemocratic than only having two choices is only having one.  And yes, Harris isn’t perfect.  But you know what, NOBODY IS FUCKING PERFECT!  If a politician agreed with me 100% on every one of the 8,000 issues we have in the country/world right now, I’d figure they were just lying to get my vote. 

If you took the 100 issues I care most about, and looked at, not what Harris promises to do but what she can probably actually deliver, maybe 10 of those issues will see marked improvement, 5 might actually get noticeably worse, and the other 85 will have little if any change.  Whereas with Trump, 95 will get noticeably worse, while the other 5 will have little if any change.  Will Harris bring about a new golden age of America and the world?  No.  But she will make things slightly better.  Trump will dose the country in gasoline and light a match.  The choice is between slightly better and utter destruction, and somehow people can’t decide? 

Even if every American agreed on what America should be, there’s no way to get there within a Presidential term.  And too many adult Americans don’t understand that.  They’re apparently still at the stage where if they want candy, but if their parent says no, they immediately start crying and screaming.  We can only try to make things better tomorrow than they are today, which means we are often just left with baby steps.  But they can be baby steps in the right direction.

This brings us to my concept of a Political Karen.  We all know the image of a hyper-Karen, someone who would demand the complete destruction of a pizza place as acceptable compensation for not putting enough green peppers on their pizza, even though they never mentioned extra green peppers when they ordered the pizza.  I hope most of us would not only not agree with that, but would see it as going too far.  Now a Political Karen, is someone who – watching the country be destroyed by a fascist Trump – would think that if only Harris had stated support for Policy Y, they might have voted for her, thus avoiding this whole situation.  And I would hope, that most people would see that as going too far as well.

Fourth of July Voter Registration Drive Book Sale!

I know a lot of people are tired of being told that every election for the past decade WILL DETERMINE THE VERY SURVIVAL OF THE NATION!  But it’s true.  It seems every election now is a choice between democracy and the literal forces of evil.  And the fastest way for the forces of evil to fully seize power is if We The People can’t be bothered to vote.  To keep our democracy, we need to vote, in this election and every election.

But in order to vote, you need to be registered.  If you’re an American citizen who will be eighteen by Election Day, November 5th of this year, and you are not registered, I ask you to register.  Your state’s website should have all the necessary details.  

To try to sweeten the pot for people doing their patriotic duty, the week of the Fourth, three of my ebooks will be free to download.  All I ask is that if you download them, you register.  There’s no way for me to check if the people grabbing my books for free registered, so we’ll just go on the honor system.  Read them now, or hold on to them to have something to read while you wait in line to vote come November. 

But what if you’re already registered?  In that case I ask you to check your registration.  The list of voters needs constant updating as people register, move, and die.  And even without nefarious voter purges, it’s possible for mistakes to happen.  But if you catch the mistake now, you have plenty of time to get it fixed so that come Election Day, things will be smoother.  Your state’s website should also have the details on how to check your registration.

But what if you’re not American?  Well then, all I ask is that you participate however you can in your government.  The literal forces of evil aren’t just working here in the states.

***

The following three ebooks will be free to download from Monday, July 1st, through Friday, July 5th.  The title links take you to the US site for the book.

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

A Man of Few Words

A Man of Few Words is a collection of fifty of my flash fiction stories. What would really happen if a “T-Rex on steroids” attacked a city? Why do science fiction writers make the best lovers? How does a company get to Second Base with VIPs? I explore these questions and more using less than 1,000 words and in various genres from humor to horror and general fiction to science fiction.

Duty

For reasons of safety and avoiding paradoxes, Time Travel Incorporated assigns a Guardian to all its travelers. So when there is an accident during political historian Roj Hasol’s trip back to 1968, it’s his Guardian Susan who sets out on the arduous task of cleaning up the mess.

Short story – “Ben’s Time Carriage”

“Ben’s Time Carriage”

“Where is he?”

Alexander turned to the man sitting in a frail wooden chair.  “My dear James, how am I supposed to know?  But, if you believe the word of the good Doctor, then it should be difficult for him to be–”

A brilliant flash of blue light filled the room, and both men raised their hands to their eyes.  When they lowered them a portly, older gentleman stood before them in a metal cage.  He opened a door, took a staggering step and began to fall, but Alexander caught him. 

“Benjamin, are you all right?” James asked.

“Yes, yes,” the man replied.  He laughed.  “Traveling through time leaves one … dizzy, for a few moments.”

“So you have done it then?” Alexander asked looking at the cage.  “Built a … time carriage.”

“Oh yes,” Benjamin replied, “and the things I have seen.”

James sighed.  “Were you able to do as we asked, or did you spend your time impressing the women in every century?”

Benjamin smiled.  “If you do not make time for the ladies, they will not make time for you.”

Looking in the cage, Alexander asked, “Did you memorize everything?  I expected you to return with countless books.”

“My dear Sir,” Benjamin replied, “do you think I would return empty handed?” Reaching into his coat pocket, he pulled out what looked like a thin glass rod.  He held it up and said, “Gentlemen, all of the books in all of our libraries would fit on this, with plenty of room to spare.”

“Surely not.” Alexander held out his hand and Benjamin placed the object in it.  Holding it up to his eye, he asked, “Did you find some minuscule printing press?”

“No, no, it’s …” Benjamin scratched his head.  “It is something that even I don’t fully understand.”

“How are we to read these … books?” James asked squinting at the rod.

“With this.” From another pocket Benjamin took out an object about the size of a small book made of a strange material.

“What is that?” Alexander asked.

“It is called,” Benjamin answered, “a computer.” Setting this computer on a table, Benjamin lifted the top and flipped it back with a click, so it was now twice the size but half the thickness.  He did this three more times until he had a stiff object about the size of a newspaper. 

“Amazing,” James said.

Benjamin held his hand out to Alexander who returned the rod.  “First we turn this on,” he said, touching the upper right corner of the computer.  There were a few musical tones that made the other two men jump.  “I’m sorry, I should have warned you.  It makes … odd noises at times.”

The surface of the computer had been a dull, bluish-gray, but now it turned black before it was replaced by an image in bronze of Benjamin himself.  Benjamin laughed.  “I couldn’t help myself.  This is … an instant painting of a future bust of me.”

Benjamin inserted the rod in a slot along the side of the computer and told the two other men, “Don’t worry.  This is a very …” He paused and mumbled, “What was the phrase?” to himself.  “Oh yes,” he continued in his normal voice, “this is a very ‘user friendly’ model.  I’ll be able to talk you through using it in only a few minutes.”

An hour later, both men were finally able to use the computer to read the information on the rod.  Once he was sure they understood how to use it, Benjamin told them, “Now, gentlemen, you have access to all the important historical events for the next three centuries.  With this you will be able to foresee all the difficulties this new nation will face and write the perfect Constitution for it.  Now if you’ll excuse me, I have an engagement I wish to attend.” He opened the door to the cage and stepped inside.

Alexander turned from the computer and asked, “Where is … or should I say, when is this engagement?”

“To answer both questions, Philadelphia in 2006.  They are having a 300th birthday party for me.  Courtesy requires that I attend.” With that he closed the door of the cage, and in a flash of red light, was gone.

***

I first wrote this story in 2008 as part of my 30 Stories in 30 Days Challenge I used to do.  I updated it for my 2012 collection Political Pies.  But I was reminded of it recently by all the talk of Originalism in regards to all the problems certain groups aren’t allowing us to fix, and figured I should repost it so I can share it easily. 

The original reason for this story, is every time I hear some schmuck say we shouldn’t do something because it “wasn’t the intent of the Founding Fathers,” I want to ask if the Founding Fathers had a crystal ball with which they could foresee all the problems the country would face, and thus write the solutions into the Constitution?  Don’t get me wrong, the Founding Fathers were some of the brightest minds of the Eighteenth Century.  Of course, we live in the Twenty-First Century where we have things like indoor plumbing and cyber terrorism.

Short story – “How Did They Get Our Number?”

“How Did They Get Our Number?”

“There he is.”

Mario waved to his three friends sitting at an outside table of the Brew Haus.  “Hey guys.  Sorry I’m late, I had a hell of a time finding a parking spot.”

Jason replied, “Sure, sure.  We were talking about the big tackle last night.  What did you think?”

“Oh, it was a thing of beauty.”

Greg shook his head.  “You’re just happy that it wasn’t-”

A piercing tone filled the air, causing everyone to clap their hands over their ears, although that didn’t seem to help.

After a few seconds it stopped.  Then what sounded like a computerized woman’s voice began speaking.  “Greetings sentient beings of Planet 23411341234.978.  I am,” what followed sounded like a slowed down version of a cat in a blender.  The voice then continued, “I am broadcasting this message to the minds of all sentients on the planet.  I represent this sector of the galaxy in the Galactic Congress.  We have just become aware of your existence and welcome you to the community of planets.  I’m sure you have many questions, and as your representative, I will work to answer them and help you in any way I can.  We will be in touch with further information.”

For several seconds there was only silence.  Mario looked at his friends.  “Did you all-”

Before he could finish, there was another piercing tone.  Then a different computerized female voice said, “Greetings sentient beings of Planet 23411341234.978.  I am,” this time the following sound was an ear-splitting screech.  The voice went on with, “I am running to replace [cat in blender sound] as your representative.  [Cat in blender sound] has repeatedly failed this sector of the galaxy by advocating war with the Andromeda Galaxy and fighting against the rights of,” then came what sounded like a drawn-out fart.  “The election,” the voice continued, “is only 8.7 of your years away, but I hope I can count on your support.  I will be sending you additional information shortly.”

“This has to be some kind of joke,” Jason said.

“But who would-” Mario began, but he was cut off by another piercing tone.

A computerized male voice began, “Greetings sentient beings of Planet 23411341234.978.  I am ….”

***

I first wrote this story back in the spring of 2012.  Back in those days, a never-ending stream of political ads seemed like one of the worst things politics could do to us.  Oh, for a simpler age.

2023 Election ebook sale!

I know that a lot of people are tired of being told that every election for the past decade is THE MOST IMPORTANT ELECTION EVER!  But it’s true.  The fastest way for the anti-democratic forces to seize power is if The People can’t be bothered to vote.  And they have too much power as it is.  To keep our democracy, we need to vote, in this election and every election. 

The tiniest part that I’m doing is having a sale of five of my ebooks.  All I ask – and there’s no way for me to know – is that if you’re an adult American you vote in this Election.  Here’s a site to help you find your polling location.  And you don’t have to wait until after you vote, if you grab my books now, you can have something to read while you wait in line. 

If you’re an American under 18, you can still get my books.  All I ask is that once you turn 18 you register to vote.  Information on how to do that should be on your state’s website.  You can also grab my books if you’re not an American.  I just ask that you participate in your country’s political system, because the anti-democratic forces are not limited to the US.

The following five ebooks will be free to download from Friday, November 3, through Tuesday, November 7.  The title links take you to the US site for the book.

 

Political Pies

Everybody complains about politics, but does anyone do anything about it? My attempt to do something about it is to collect forty of my short stories with a political element into my Political Pies anthology. The stories are either politically neutral or equally condemning of the national parties. Instead of trying to sway you to one ideology or another, my goal is to just get people thinking about politics in the hopes a rose might grow out of all the political manure.

 

The Most Powerful Man in the World and other stories

The Most Powerful Man in the World and other stories is a collection of five, short, scifi stories to provide a sample of my writing.

A being from the distant future with almost unlimited powers comes back to help Ian Steele make the world a better place in “The Most Powerful Man in the World.” One bookstore customer has an entirely different reason for wanting books in “Black Market Books.” “Motherhood” tells the story of Thomas Gillespie, the surrogate mother for a baby AI. “Storyteller” is about an author thinking his book into existence. And “Deadworld” is about the alien world humans are reborn on – in alien bodies – after we die.

 

A Man of Few Words

A Man of Few Words is a collection of fifty of my flash fiction stories. What would really happen if a “T-Rex on steroids” attacked a city? Why do science fiction writers make the best lovers? How does a company get to Second Base with VIPs? I explore these questions and more using less than 1,000 words and in various genres from humor to horror and general fiction to science fiction.

 

Duty

For reasons of safety and avoiding paradoxes, Time Travel Incorporated assigns a Guardian to all its travelers. So when there is an accident during political historian Roj Hasol’s trip back to 1968, it’s his Guardian Susan who sets out on the arduous task of cleaning up the mess.

 

The Future is Coming

As a science fiction writer, I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about how technology will change the way we live. I’ve come up with these ten short essays about science fictional elements that will – almost certainly – one day become science fact as a way for people to start coming to terms with them. Because I’ve spent time thinking about clones and AIs, I feel I’ll be okay when they do finally show up whereas most people will probably freak out. I hope these essays will get people to start thinking about the future because, no matter what we do, the future is coming.