Short story – “Spooky Story”

“Spooky Story”

Closing the front door, Karl called out, “We’re back.” He unhooked Buster’s leash and the Basset Hound plodded into the kitchen to get a drink of water.

Karl took his shoes off and walked into the living room.  His wife Susan was where he had left her: in her “office” corner staring at her laptop.  He walked up behind her and kissed the top of her head.  “What are you stuck on?”

Susan sighed.  “It’s spooky season, and we’re going into an important election, so I wanted to do my part and write a spooky election story.”

“What did you come up with?”

“I wrote, ‘President Trump,’ and I didn’t want to go on.”

Karl snorted.  He then pretended to scream.  “Agggh.  The horror.” Kissing her forehead he said, “That hack Stephen King has nothing on you.”

Susan smiled.  “It just feels like I need to do more.”

Rubbing her shoulder, Karl said, “Come on.  We all know we’ll have President Clinton 2.0.  I doubt he even wants to be President.  It would mean he’d have to work for once in his life.  And he can make so much more money giving speeches bitching about how terrible she is.  If we’re lucky, in a year or so he’ll fade into obscurity.”

Short story – “Tricked”

“Tricked”

When her doorbell rang, Mable shuffled towards the door.  She opened it to see a young man dressed as a pirate, and a kid dressed in a full-body Minion outfit from those movies her grandkids loved so much.  The Minion held out a pumpkin bucket and in a soft, muffled voice said, “Trick or treat.”

“Aren’t you adorable,” Mable said with a smile.  “And what’s your name?”

The Minion pulled the bucket back a bit, but didn’t answer.

The pirate patted him on the head and said, “Billy.  He’s just a little shy.”

“I have a grandson that’s the same way.” Mable chuckled as she dropped a handful of mini candy bars into the bucket.

“What do you say?” the pirate asked.

“Thank you,” came the soft, muffled voice.

“You’re very welcomed, Billy,” Mable said.

The pirate smiled and told Mable, “Have a Happy Halloween.”

#

Out on the sidewalk, in his regular voice Bill said, “I can’t believe you talked me into this.”

Tom, the pirate, replied, “Hey, we split the candy and I’ll buy you a beer later.”

“This is so humiliating.”

Tom smacked his shoulder.  “You brought a smile to an old lady’s face.  Because of that will they kick you out of the Little People Society?” After a moment, Tom gave an evil grin.  “I know they have short fuses, but come on.”

Bill stopped and looked up at Tom for a moment.  Lifting the bucket he stated, “For every short joke you tell tonight, I’m taking a piece of your candy.”

Tom nodded.  “I guess that’s a small price to pay.”

“That’s two,” Bill told him.

Putting his arm around Bill, Tom said, “Well then, we’re going to have to hit a lot of houses for me to get any candy tonight.”

They walked to the next house with Bill muttering words children shouldn’t use.  

***

This story was written in 2015 on a site that I no longer post to.  I recently remembered it, and I decided to revise and repost it.  I don’t really remember the origin of this story, which is probably for the best.

Random Story – Giant penis

This is just an odd little story from my life.

In 2002, I lived in a college town.  And I had a crappy job where I worked the night shift.  I had to work on Halloween, so I was asleep when all the trick or treaters came, which annoyed my one roommate because he had to deal with them. 

Anyway, I left for work – I think about 10:30 or so – and as I was driving through town I saw a bunch of dressed up college kids partying.  And then, down the sidewalk, I saw an eight foot tall penis slowly walking.  And it wasn’t just penis-shaped, they took the time to make it look lifelike. 

I can’t remember how long I laughed.  And since then, whenever someone mentions Halloween, one of my first thoughts is of a giant penis shuffling down the sidewalk.

Short story – “The Horror”

“The Horror”

An upset stomach woke Jack.  Even at his tender age he knew if he went to his mom she would scold him for not listening to her when she said not to eat so much of his candy.  So he lay in bed toughening it out until morning, like the cowboy he had been.

Some time later, his stomach had settled and he was drifting back to sleep when he heard a sharp thump.  At first his sleepy mind didn’t notice, but then it repeated.  After it repeated a few times, Jack thought, It sounds like someone’s knocking on the side of the house.

Jack sat up in bed, his mind filled with images of giant monsters bashing their tentacles on the side of the house.  He was about to hide under his covers when he remembered his mom.  I should warn her.

The knocking grew louder while Jack worked up his courage.  He then heard a muffled cry of, “Oh God,” coming from her room.  The knocking stopped.  She must have seen the monster, Jack thought.  What courage he had built up melted away as he dove under his blankets, unsure what he would find in the morning.

***

I wrote this (almost exactly) nine years ago and posted it on a site that unfortunately went belly-up a few years later.  The story stayed online, but lately there’s been formatting issues.  Which sucked because I always posted a link to it around Halloween.  So I’ve reposted it so I can link to it for Halloweens future.